Life Updates: Full-Time at UCSF

I no longer have two jobs!

I'm at the Department of Physiological Nursing full time now, under a professor whose name is homonymous with Dr. Who. My main responsibilities include data science (data acquisition, data analysis, data interpretation, database management), project management (running operations for our SuperAlarm project at superalarm4patients.com), and research (my own research project- integrating medications into our SuperAlarm algorithm).

It's very stimulating being here full time as it is fully collaborative within this lab. The School of Nursing and the School of Medicine seem to have very different cultures. Where SON is much more team-oriented, collaborative, and social, SOM seems much more standalone and consists of little islands of research. SOM is still collaborative, but not as intensively as it is where I currently work. In physiological nursing, everyone gets a taste of everyone else's projects and, while being serious about patient care and our expertise, we always try to cultivate teamwork in both social and professional ways.

I really liked my job at Ophthalmology and had the opportunity to travel to Europe thanks to Dr. Damato. The most exciting part about that job was being a part of a technological movement towards patient-centered care. We worked to bring patient-reported outcomes to Ocular Oncology, made headway in creating a database for clinical outcomes in ocular oncology, and integrated that database into our existing EMR (Epic). There are still avenues to return if I want to stick to a career in health IT.

While health IT will always be essential knowledge, a long career in it is not my "Big Dream."

Luckily, one thing I'm starting to love about UCSF (or at least the group I'm with) is that you're allowed to dream and you can make it happen. I'm working my way up to it

Reminders

Yesterday, I serendipitously met the family member of a deceased patient over the phone.

"May I speak to Charles, please?" (names have been changed)
"May I know who this is?"
"My name is Andrea, I'm calling from UCSF on behalf of Dr. Bern."
"Oh, hello! I'm sorry, Andrea, to tell you, that Charles passed away last Sunday."

It was unexpected for me. I've been meeting patients in oncology for more than a year but I'd always seen them in the middle of treatments. I never really found myself at "the end." I had no idea what to say, really. But the first thing that I wanted to do was ask how she was.

"I'm still in a daze." But there was a certain reverie in her voice when she spoke about him. Cancer patients have a very special fate: they have enough time to anticipate the end... Before his death, Charles had seen it coming and he willed his friends and family to not mourn his departure but rather celebrate his life, to not to wear black, and to have a genuinely good time with each other. "He was a spirit walking around on this earth."

When this kind woman began to tear up over the phone, I felt so much empathy that I also started tearing up too. And as she described his celebration, I could picture the joy and wisdom of that patient's soul even though I had never met him in person.

Wouldn't it would be wonderful to have such an overwhelmingly joyous soul that it is felt even by people you've never met? Sharing genuine joy and appreciating what you have while creating something better on this life adventure--that's pretty amazing.

While working in oncology, the patients I've seen have displayed a huge range of different coping mechanisms. Some are anxious and avoid talking about their problem while others want to face their condition head on and still others are extremely stoic. Emotional reactions go between anger, skepticism, shock, fear, and relief.

I am humbled as I ruminate on how I'd react in the face of certain trials. I don't know how I'd react if placed on the battlefields of cancer. But for those in helping professions, it's the fighters we come to admire. So I would hope to be a fighter.

All I know is that I am in the healthcare industry because I want the ability to give to others--to give not just a treatment or a device that can save lives but to give out the tools and knowledge everyone needs to be a fighter in the face of certain adversities. That desire helps me fight my smaller, more trivial battles, every day.

"You should enjoy the little detours. To the fullest. Because that's where you'll find the things more important than what you want."

Currently Watching: Hunter x Hunter (2011 anime)
Currently Reading: Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1961)

Playing Telephone

Work's been pretty busy. Progress since last blog entry? Have I become a machiiine? Have I become angry? Not quite yet but I have been getting more productive. That or there's just so much work that I have no choice to be....

Still getting mindsplit between the two jobs but it's very engaging and I'm never bored, so yay! Next to my original workload, helping with two grants, clinical data collection, document validation, and patient recruitment, I've been learning how to use SQL Server Integration Services, used for data integration and workflow applications and dabbing in MATLAB for data analysis.

From a high level, dealing with data at UCSF and Epic isn't easy. It's kind of like a game of telephone:

• Hospital staff collect and input the data into Epic as they observe them. If the data is not structured, they will enter free text.
• The data is cached in Epic. The software and data model is designed by software engineers.
• Cached data is sent to a relational database (SQL). Which can then be copied into separate databases. The SQL database and data structure is adapted to cached data by software engineers and data scientists.
• Clinicians request data reported in a way they can interpret and analyze.
• Analysts (programmers, computer scientists, data scientists etc) extract data from SQL or other database sources.
• Research assistants analyze the data extractions.
• Clinicians improve or change their practice based on data analysis.

For this to work smoothly, a good understanding of what happens at every part of this pathway is necessary. It is important for everyone to understand data flow and how things get captured clinically and electronically. But providers in a busy large research hospital do not always have the bandwidth to be mindful of data methods. In the moment of service, patients should always come first.

How do we put everybody on the same page?

The easiest way is to change the way hospital staff interfaces with data input and output methods in the first step. Increasing the intuitiveness of graphical user interfaces (GUI) and the data feedback loop will:

• Increase staff awareness on the importance of meaningful data input
• Increase staff appreciation for data output
• Increase the need for standardizing methods of other types of data. (For example, images need to be stored and interpreted.)

What other solutions are there?

Machination

I must become a machine....

I met a physical therapist with whom I want to volunteer some time with over the next few months so I can learn more there. She is chair emeritus of the PT department. On Tuesdays she wakes up at 3 or 4AM, gets to UCSF to teach a group fitness class at 6AM, sees patients all morning, does leader duties until the evening, works out, gets home and does work and goes to sleep around midnight.

That feels like an inundation with insanity. But she does it all and she appears to be wildly successful.

As someone who operates in extremes and all-or-nothing, I don't think I've ever gone into full machine mode. And I think that it would be useful to obtain a machine mode. 

Subsequently, I can learn how to balance machine mode and life mode.

So, in addition to adding ferocity (aka anger) to my emotional repertoire, I must become an effing machine! These should be the central themes of my life for the next few months before Paris in June.

... not that I would completely disregard my social or empathic abilities - I just want to be able to explore these other opposed abilities. Next focus of my life after ferocity and machination will probably be emotional intelligence.

Currently Reading: Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1961)

Currently Listening: Come Away With Me (Norah Jones)

#ferocity #machination #alacrity

New Projects, New Pivots

Currently Listening: Assassin's Tango (John Powell)
Currently Reading: I, Robot

View from my Wednesday office!

Yesterday, I got hired for another project at UCSF in the Department of Physiological Nursing, involving a pivot in my specialization. I always just assumed health tech and databases were just a side interest - something I'd continue knowing a bit about because of my degree (Master of Translational Medicine) and tech savvy. However, it turns out, employers were always most intrigued with the computing skills and education on my CV (C++, SQL, MATLAB, etc). Of course I had to study all of this for my engineering degree and I'm by no means any expert nor am I very good/fluent but I'd never been very passionate about healthcare IT anyway. Its impact felt more indirect compared to the patient interaction I was seeking in clinical research. However, I'm sort of falling into it as a natural progression. Healthcare IT is prevalent across all aspects of medicine and, in my case, clinical research is supplanted by data and there is certainly a lot of it.

I started out at UCSF in a team that is implementing a new cloud-based platform. It would act as both a patient data registry and a portal for patients to log in, learn about their disease (mostly ocular melanoma or retinablastoma), and answer questionnaires that would enable research in PROMs (patient-reported outcome measures). From a technical standpoint, it hasn't been that difficult working with the tech vendor since they are doing all the development work. My job has mainly been to coordinate everything, from patient recruitment to platform evaluation to mapping data input between our existing EHRs (electronic health records) and the new platform. It has allowed me the freedom to practice a little bit of project management and people skills, working between the different facets of translational medicine (industry, academia, clinics, patients), while remaining patient-driven and focused on creating integrated care in Ocular Oncology practice.

The new group I will work with in late December already has an existing SQL database in a later stage of development. They have a lot of data that is dynamic - such as that found in physiological monitoring systems like EKGs or pulse oximetry. This complex data needs to be pooled, analyzed, and interpreted, which is where the PI was hoping to create a role for me. The group is working on very interesting problems in critical care and neurology, which I think will help me in my long winded path towards neurological rehabilitation. :D This project's a lot more technical and very challenging, in a different way from my position in the ophthalmology department. However, I'm excited to refine a skillset that will obviously come in very handy in the future.  The Bay Area is still a growing hub for digital technology; I'm even going to a networking event tomorrow on digital health technology!

Cheers to the future! Research is fun!

The First Job Offer!

Currently Listening: I Wanna Dance With Somebody, How Will I Know (Whitney Houston)
Movies Watched: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Note to Self: NEVER drink anything caffeinated after 10am.

After 2.5 months, I finally got a job offer! For a position (clinical research coordinator) that I think will be very rewarding during my early stage career path. And I'd be managing a project that would be very interesting, with huge clinical implications for the UCSF system. The position starts out part time while the major grants are being written but is expected to expand to full time soon.

During the job hunt, I've been blessed with experiencing the highs and lows, the blunders and achievements, of "the search." And now that I'm in phase III, I feel very blessed to have gone through this. It was stressful (it still is) but now that there's something on the table, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. The stressors related to being poor now appear to have an end.

My interviewer, who was the doctor I would work under, offered me this job on the spot. It was only the first interview, so I was pretty blindsided by the offer. However, I did feel very valued because of that and both he and the second interviewer graciously acknowledged that I would need time to make my decision. He also seems like an amazing person to work with - a visionary, a great mentor, and is extremely well-respected.

Right now I still have some decision-making to do because I'm still waiting to hear back from another department - I will write about the decision process in a later post once I officially move forward with something. To help with the process, I've been speaking to people whose opinions I value and a former teammate of mine told me to rank the things I personally look for in a first job. Then I can evaluate each opportunity based on what's important to me. So here goes.

Ranking essential aspects of a potential first job:

1) Experience: My number one goal is to gain transferable project management skills involving different kinds of people (clinicians, patients, academics, industry). This means further developing organizational and planning skills as well as consistent follow-through and execution. Secondary to that, I'd like to refine my interpersonal and presentation skills, be able to write grants, co-author or author a few publications, and become very well-versed in clinical research development (protocol, IRB, regulatory affairs, etc.). I would also like something to "show off" - something tangible that I can be very proud of.

2) Compensation: I've got bills to pay and my mouth to feed and things to save up for! But I'm not looking to make bank yet. I'm just looking to survive, pay back my student loans, live comfortably, and have enough to help out my siblings and parents.

3) Mentorship: I would like to find others whose career path or personality I can model myself after, who are as equally invested in my career as I am in supporting theirs. Whether it's vision, influence, or competency, mentorship would take me very far in terms of personal and professional development.

4) Alignment with scientific interests: I obviously have been pursuing fitness and sports for a very long time and I would really love to work in a field that has neurological applications - specifically, movement disorders and neurological rehabilitation. However, my past experience is most relevant to biomaterials and pharma/oncology.

Stay tuned!

Phases of The Hunt

Currently Listening: Believe (Cher), Hips Don't Lie (Shakira), Fearless (Taylor Swift)
Currently Reading: Deciphering the Cosmic Number: The Strange Friendship of Wolfgang Pauli and Carl Jung (Arthur I. Miller)
Movies Watched: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (Yep, all three.)

As I mentioned in a previous post, job hunting has been very enlightening. Learning how to package and market myself has been key to everything. As much as I thought I knew how to do this already, I've realized that I actually wasn't that great at it. I'd gone to numerous personal branding talks and career talks but none that were very specific to me. In addition, I didn't know squat about what potential employers were looking for. And for this reason, I really wish the MTM program had provided more career development support, but at the same time it was really my responsibility - so I'm undecided at the moment on what can actually be done to improve things (perhaps stronger alumni relations?).

Many people have noted that job searching is like a full-time job in itself - a sentiment I would agree with. I've adapted the phases of the hunt from this post on TheLadders.com.

Phase I: Preparation

First Attempts and Refining my Career Objectives
a.k.a. Bumbling Around in the Dark

+ Look at countless job descriptions and try to understand how you fit in
+ Submit a few resumes and CVs
+ Get limited responses
+ Revise resume/CV
+ Revise lame cover letter for a more kick-ass cover letter
+ Accumulate different versions of resumes and cover letters for different job descriptions
+ Revise your "elevator pitch" and career narrative

Phase II: Search

Articulation and Practice

+ A handful of in-person and phone interviews are under your belt now
+ Understand which jobs align with your goals and which are great fits for you
+ Submit more job applications - there's a rhythm to this now and you're able to churn out more applications because you've had so much practice
+ Revisions to cover letter and resume/CV are just touch-ups
+ Meet recruiters and develop positive relationships with them
+ Get feedback from recruiters - this part is pivotal
+ Encounter and have prepared responses for common interview questions
+ Write out STAR responses and practice delivery
+ Capable of articulating what you want, who you are, and what you've done
+ If you're persistent, then towards the end of this phase, regular interviews and resume queries are made on a week by week basis
+ Continue to network and get to know other people! (For example, I went to a Bay Area Geek Girl event hosted by Zendesk)

Phase III: Close

(I'm still in early stages so this description is not very complete)

+ Regular interviews and resume queries continue
+ Continue job applications and don't bank on any one job
+ Give 110% for every job lead
+ Interviewing comes more easily now
+ You are confident in who you are and know how to convey your enthusiasm and qualifications better than before, though this is in constant development
+ Preparation for interviews is key, including articulating out loud and written responses
+ Follow-up with interviews is even more key
+ Frame your responses to interviewers as if you have something to contribute!

+ Hopefully more than one offer pops up within the same time frames - then you can choose something!

I write this because I just got off the phone from an interview that I thought went pretty well. There have been so many leads as of late and I think I'm in the later stages of phase II and early phase III - so I really hope something leads somewhere! The [awesome] recruiter I am working with from Aerotek for another job has been especially helpful in helping me understand where I stand among hiring managers. As someone who is young with a master's degree but limited industry experience, what I have going for me is my enthusiasm and ability to learn on the job and I would need to convince hiring managers that I can bring something meaningful to the company and get up to speed quickly.

It's been a little disconcerting not hearing anything from my "dream job" as of yet but I'm keeping at it! All the while, the only ways I've kept sane during this time period have been to keep hanging out with friends, read more books, practice my Spanish, and re-familiarize myself with coding language.

Side note: Wow, weekly blogging has somehow been very helpful with internally organizing my thoughts. Forcing myself to write is a useful ! =D Future posts need to be written on (1) my recent trip to Crater Lake National Park and the Oregon Caves for Labor Day and (2) my thoughts on the Star Wars prequel. I also need to find some way to watch the old Star Trek TV series.... Hrrrm.

How job hunting is simultaneously a soul-crushing and soul-discovering experience

Currently Listening: Turn the Beat Around (Gloria Estefan)
Currently Reading: The End of Eternity (Isaac Asimov, 1955, Audiobook)
Movies Watched: Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

So I'm on the job hunt, right?

The first job is always the hardest to land especially when you've been in academia your entire life. It was my mistake to not have interned anywhere in industry before, little did I know. And now, sitting on a pile of student debt (from my master's program alone), I am fighting to get my foot in the door. And it can't just be any door... it has to be one that can lead me to where I see myself in 5 years, else it take much longer to get there.

Job hunting requires a certain kind of mindset, it seems. It's sort of like dating except more brutal.

Self-Discovery: You should know what you want - or have a really good idea of what you want. I want to be a lot of things. I want to know a lot of things. I like to leave my options open. But what I've learned, at least for this first job hunt, is I need to be very good at one thing and I need to clearly state what I want (for me, I chose clinical research or regulatory affairs). And if it wasn't obvious, people who are very focused and have zeroed in on exactly what they want to do are very attractive for very exact positions. They are able to state, matter-of-factly, who they are and how that is backed up and how that relates to what they want. As time goes by, it's been a process of really understanding what it is I need and want from a career as well as what I can bring to whatever role I'm trying to fill. (Man, this really does sound like dating...) The constant editing and rewording I am doing for my resume and CV is an evolution process. And I'm liking where this is going. Nothing's changing; I'm just starting to understand what's important and how to say it. (Then again, how do you not sound like every other dating LinkedIn profile?) Job searching is image crafting at it's finest. You gotta build your own personal brand right?

Soul-Crushing: #TeamSingle. Over the past month, I've gone through periods of extreme motivation and upbeat optimism... with occasional but treacherous bouts of dismay and insecurity. Questions mull through my head: "How does everyone around me already have a great and awesome job? Why am I so behind? Why does it take me so much longer to find a job?" And then there's waiting on responses after interviews. And then getting rejected or redirected. Or getting an offer and then figuring out you actually don't really want that. Hmmm. People have told me to enjoy this period of being single joblessness - the only time in young 20s, really, where I have blocks of time to devote to my family and friends and other hobbies. This is true, yes, but man... that student debt. Not to mention that sense of responsibility I feel as the oldest child. Thankfully, my family is a short 6 hour drive away in SoCal and I've been able to spend time with them. The clock is ticking. I think my emotional states regarding joblessness have become more even-keeled though. Nothing phases me and I'm still rather optimistic about everything. I'm visualizing it all in my head.

It's taking a lot of effort. It took a lot of work to get the degrees and the experience and qualifications I have on my resume/CV but it's not like that means a job will just fall into my hands. It takes a lot of persistence to keep the applications, phone conversations, and followups going - so slowly but surely, I get on the phone with more people and begin more and more email threads. Dead ends can be discouraging but thus is life! It also takes a lot of hard work to prepare yourself for the unexpected. I learned from a friend of mine to always be prepared for an impromptu interview (he got to the final round for Google because he was always prepared!).

Remaining positive takes a lot of resilience and self-assuredness. Being confident but keeping it honest is a big balancing act in this phase of life. In the end, though, I'm really glad I get to experience "The Hunt" - it feels like an essential part of my personal and career growth.

Well, that's my 3AM spiel. I couldn't sleep. But now I ought to...

Musings on the Map

Currently Listening: How to Train Your Dragon OST
Reading Queue: World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War & The Zombie Survival Guide (Max Brooks), Eat, Pray, Love (Elizabeth Gilbert)

1) Personality Typing

The past few months, I've had several conversations about Meyers Briggs Type preferences. Typing personalities is an interesting concept because personalities are fluid. And while some may argue that MBTI is not a useful or validated metric for personality, it seems to be a good guideline. With MBTI alone, you would not be able to account for external factors that affect our propensities such as upbringing, life experiences, culture, and genetics. For me, however, it serves as a good basis for assessing personal strengths and weaknesses and how I can work on personal growth and development.

The four letters as they apply to our types can be described most easily from the MBTI Manual:

Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I).
Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N).
Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).
Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

Since I have often had to explain MBTI to others, I've found that extraversion and introversion are often misinterpreted as whether or not one is outgoing and social or quiet and not-quite-as-social. In actuality, extraversion and introversion is generalized to where a person gets their energy--externally or internally. For example, an introvert may not prefer being around too many people at a party because it is more difficult to access their internal world when there is so much going on externally. Additionally, an extrovert would have trouble feeling mentally stimulated when they are alone or in an location that does not seem interesting to them.

MBTI preferences are also interesting for understanding type dynamics in the workplace and in personal relationships. My type, for example, is theoretically a good match with INTJs because of our complementary needs - mentally, emotionally, and psychosocially. I'm discovering more and more that the people I have gravitated towards in my life are INTJs. They are all unique people apart from each other. Most of them I can relate to based on common interests, background, or values but I sometimes won't have much in common with them. However, the common denominator in all my relationships with these people is that they seem to bring order and stability into the way I think, which is usually haphazard, inclined towards non-linearity, and oriented towards the big picture. They challenge me to be a better person while allowing for me to be myself (happy, caring, and people-oriented). I gravitate towards them because I am intrigued by the way they think and operate.

2) Choosing my own adventure (inspired by an INTJ - yay for segues!)

Recently, I was asked what my 5-year plan was. If I could choose my own adventure, where do I see myself in 5 years? That's a good question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? There are so many possibilities!

My answer at the time was this:
I would be...
... managing research projects in biomaterials with orthopedic applications
... married
... in the process of starting my own rehabilitation clinic focused on new research/technologies. I want to be able to still make an impact by bringing new ideas in from translational medicine!
... considering children (or maybe have one on the way)
... considering further education (possibly physical therapy school?)

Upon further thought, I would add these details: I would be married to someone who is simultaneously my best friend, life teammate, and greatest love of my life. I'd be more knowledgeable, grounded, and very competent at follow-through for new ideas. I'd be able to say I was well-traveled and good at planning trips. I'd know how to code! And finally, I would have paid off all of my student loans and still have a lot of savings.

3) What is the end goal?

Every time someone asks me where I see myself in X amount of years, my mind revisits this little snapshot I once envisioned... with myself as a physical therapist. In this snapshot, I'm helping people recover motor function - be it from neurological disability or injury that required surgical repair. I have encountered a lot of skepticism whenever I mentioned PT to people who understand that I have studied engineering. The general feeling from the skeptics is that if I ever went to PT school, it would be a waste of my engineering education. A few months ago, I was told it was illogical. When I was told that it sounded illogical, I was taken aback for a bit by the criticism. It hurt, actually, and made me sad and unsure of myself.

But I thought about it some more... I don't feel it is illogical to enrich my life with different types of experiences until I get to my 'end goal' (if I had to dream the perfect dream... it would be heading my own PT clinic focused on clinical research and new tech - similar to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago). A unique journey and having a lot of experience to draw from is my preferred mode of operation. For example, studying abroad in HK placed me in a position for many lessons on independence, simple living and avoidance of excess, adaptability, sensitivity to other peoples' ways of life, and communication. I know that I could be very good at starting new things, integrating ideas and concepts, and being diplomatic. I could use my developed people skills to manage projects, but through my experiences abroad, I have also found that there are many things I still need to work on such as follow-through, self-discipline, and consistency (these are developed but can always be improved).

Being an engineer is also very different being someone with a patient-centric occupation or a people-oriented job, which I would enjoy. However, it is valuable to be able to take engineering approaches to both managing research projects and leading a rehabilitation clinic's operations.

Knowing that people would be very critical of how seemingly haphazard my path is - the best take away is that I should not jump into new ventures on a whim. I should still know my general direction and ensure that everything I do serves a purpose, either directly or indirectly. And that is why I need to think more about my 5 year snapshot!

I'm still charting the course and enjoying where I'm at now. My goal is to have an interesting life and have an impact on my world/community. That is the value I hope to create for myself.

4) Snapshots from Random Social Happenings! (in no particular order)

7/6 - Skype dinner date with awesome long-time friends! <3

7/20 - National Ice Cream Day at Fenton's!

Good times with beautiful people :)

First time doing nails with 'the girls' =]

7/18 - Triple Rock with these amazingly awesome people!

7/3 - Fourth of July SoCal trip - Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles

7/20 - Ramen Festival SF!

7/9 - Oakland foodventure to Homeroom (mac & cheeses) + Fenton's afterwards

Metamorphosis

On April 10, 2013, I made the decision to SIR to UC Berkeley-UCSF's MTM program and now our capstone final report is due tomorrow. I had no idea how much change I would undergo and how different things would be - the better part of my 20s seems like it's just beginning. Moving to the Bay Area positioned me for more opportunities, amazing friends, and acquaintances than I ever imagined.

I have a habit of leaving places just as I start to feel comfortable/content.
Do I go against that and make a decision to stay in one place finally?

Decision tree -

if job found by mid-May, end; else use decision tree

(A) Start - If I don't land a job in the next month or so:

• I stay in limbo and continue The Hunt during the month of June --> (Go to Event B)
• I decide to stay in the Bay Area no matter what --> (Start search for places to stay/roommates)
• Pro: certainty
• Con: cost, less flexibility

(B) Limbo/The Hunt - If I don't land a job by the end of June:

• I decide to continue search for a job while in the Bay Area --> (Go to Event C)
• I go back to So-Cal and continue applying for jobs --> (Go to Event D)

(C) Bay Area/The Hunt

• Work part-time, stay in current living arrangement (~$350/month) or with family friend until job is found in one of the following places: Bay Area, So-Cal, Midwest, or East Coast --> (See where it goes from there)
• Pros: plenty of work opportunity, continue volunteer job, proximity to norcal friends, can still drive to so-cal to visit family for extended periods of time
• Cons: cost

(D) So-Cal/The Hunt

• Work part-time, live with parents until job is found in one of the following places: Bay Area, So-Cal, Midwest, or East Coast --> (See where it goes from there)
• Pros: affordable, time with family, reasonable amount of work opportunity, can still drive to nor-cal but place to stay?
• Cons: less independence, will need to drive up north often for interviews, can't continue volunteer job 

New Volunteer Job

The Phase I Clinical Trials clinic at UCSF Mt. Zion has an amazing group of people and I'll be volunteering there for the rest of the semester! Unfortunately, the first week of volunteering consists of cooping myself up in my own cubicle doing new employee/safety training. But I know that I love the people and they are all crazy intelligent in both interpersonal and logical ways. It seems this workplace strikes a nice balance between being casual and being very serious about their jobs--not to mention with new investigational drugs, there is so much potential to actually make a difference. I can't wait to see where this takes me - my supervisor is really letting me have the freedom to make something out of it.

A lot of new changes in my life are occurring--mostly internally, but externally as well. By thinking positively and stopping myself when I am being self-critical, I carry more confidence. With more confidence, it feels like people talk to me more and seek my company. I think I was always scared in the past to externalize who I am. I never really embraced my own qualities - good or bad. And then life slapped me in the face and told me that I was wasting energy on self-criticism and beating myself up for things that I clearly just imagined in my head - it's just a really bad use of mental and emotional resource and has repercussions that could fill you with regret for the rest of your life. Fight club, anybody?

Gonna end this academic year with greatness! And hopefully blog more.... but you know, gotta live my life.

Color Run, Tahoe, Bay to Breakers, Cal Day, and much more to come!

Gearing Your Life Towards Your Future

I'm currently at UCSF - UC Berkeley completing a degree called "Master of Translational Medicine (MTM)." Nice name brands on my resume and a head turning degree, don't you think? But don't be fooled.

You see, most graduate students are in a state of limbo. A number of us are looking for jobs or thinking about doing further study. Some of us are so confused that they're not sure what they want to do. All we know is that we are passionate about something. 

The reality is that I entered graduate school because I wanted to be able to package myself in a way that would set me up for quick, well-paid employment. First, for the practical sense that I need to pay off my student loans and second, because, well, I would love to see the products I help develop for the medical industry reach their commercial and healthcare-providing potential. In other words, I care. And I want to help people. That's the sentiment you sense from most if not all MTM students. 

It's a two-sided coin, however, in that within this program there are so many directions you can take. There's the clinical, the business, and the engineering. It seems someone in this program might be well-suited for project management or as an important asset to a startup company. Hence, the good part is that you become a jack of all trades. But the "meh" part is that your work or your specialties may appear to be unfocused if you don't package yourself well. Especially if you go straight to graduate school from your undergraduate studies.

Here's where it becomes tricky.

I think that when you enter the (very broad) fields of Biomedical Engineering and Bioengineering, you have to know exactly what you want to focus on but that can be hard when the only thing you know (I know) is that I want to help people to the best of you (my) capacity.

The engineering part of the field has so many branches. In bioinformatics, there will be a strong emphasis in programming. In electrical biodevices, there will be a strong emphasis on electrical and computer engineering. In biomaterial biodevices, there will be a strong emphasis on chemical and mechanical engineering.

Now, add that to the complex nature of clinical development and product delivery. It can be a challenge.

When it comes to job-searching - the only directions I feel like I have is that I'm interested in learning more programming, I like biomaterials, and I want to collaborate with hospitals. How is that going to get me a job?

I'm on the job hunt now. Time to meet my potential employers.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it's to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you're doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you'll hear about them.