Machination

I must become a machine....

I met a physical therapist with whom I want to volunteer some time with over the next few months so I can learn more there. She is chair emeritus of the PT department. On Tuesdays she wakes up at 3 or 4AM, gets to UCSF to teach a group fitness class at 6AM, sees patients all morning, does leader duties until the evening, works out, gets home and does work and goes to sleep around midnight.

That feels like an inundation with insanity. But she does it all and she appears to be wildly successful.

As someone who operates in extremes and all-or-nothing, I don't think I've ever gone into full machine mode. And I think that it would be useful to obtain a machine mode. 

Subsequently, I can learn how to balance machine mode and life mode.

So, in addition to adding ferocity (aka anger) to my emotional repertoire, I must become an effing machine! These should be the central themes of my life for the next few months before Paris in June.

... not that I would completely disregard my social or empathic abilities - I just want to be able to explore these other opposed abilities. Next focus of my life after ferocity and machination will probably be emotional intelligence.

Currently Reading: Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1961)

Currently Listening: Come Away With Me (Norah Jones)

#ferocity #machination #alacrity

Saturday, Marvs showed me a really awesome used bookstore in Mountain View and found Mother Night for me! Yay! Time to get reading!

Sunday, I played a really light game of football with some friends at a picnic and took a hike up to the Big C (which happens to be REALLY STEEP)... Sadly, my legs don't seem as strong as they used to be because I felt like I was walking through lava - it burned that badly. I think I'm trying to return to my original physical activity levels too quickly because I am SORE. Going to attend a group yoga class at UCSF later - hopefully this helps.

Also: it's crazy how amazing actual communication in a relationship feels.