Friday, March 11, 2016

Rain Run Therapy

I don't remember the last time I ran in the rain before last night. But I do remember how therapeutic running in the rain is.

Running in the rain... is one version of compassion to myself. 

At times, I'd just close my eyes and feel the coolness of each droplet as my legs turned over on the soft polyurethane. I'd feel the kick of droplets onto my calves and the slick of my Columbia rain jacket. The air was cool and had a beautiful, crisp quality to it.

My mind whispered my running mantra: "Quick. Smooth. Relaxed." again and again. 
My cadence steadied with each instrument of thought.

I am on a track and I know exactly where I am going--into the present. I'm not anywhere else but in the rain, running.

And I know I never want to go back. I look forward towards a better me while remaining present.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all found compassion for ourselves?

MapMyRun app and GPS kept crashing. I'm not even mad.

Currently Listening: The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Fitness Journey Hurdles

My Anatomy professor gave me an excuse to check myself out:
Look at that GASTROCNEMIUS

I've lost six pounds in eight weeks since coming back from the Grand Canyon thanks to running, cycling, and a monitoring of carb and protein intake. The use of MapMyRun and MyFitnessPal has helped significantly.

But as I progress, there are many hurdles on the fitness journey!
  1. People questioning your motives. Why put yourself through so much self-denial, pain, and unhappiness? Just because I think skinny is beautiful? Why complicate my life for a superficial reason? First, I understand that I have been influenced by media to believe "skinny is beautiful." But I'm turning away from that and I'm focusing on performance and fitness. I think I'd be truly unhappy with my body if I was skinny but wasn't fit. I love when I can run a 7:30 mile for four miles straight--being lean is a nice benefit and losing weight has drastically helped my performance thus far. Second, self-denial is not always painful. It is really difficult. But it doesn't mean it's painful. No one got to where they wanted without utilizing self-discipline!
  2. Not letting compliments get to your head. It feels great when people notice your results and it makes you want to have cake. But the journey isn't over! The journey. Isn't. Over!!
  3. INJURIES. Overuse injuries are the bane of my existence. I do a good amount of legwork focusing on muscle imbalance. I do a lot of stretching focusing on myofascial release. I give myself 1-2 days off my feet (but I still take the stairs to get to work...). But things always seem to hurt in my legs and feet. In particular, I have average to high arches and I still feel weakness in my left leg since surgery. Injuries are the most annoying part of this journey but I really think it's more about understanding my limits and going at a pace my body can handle. Things I am actively trying to prevent or working on:
    * shin splints - calf stretching, massage
    * peroneal tendonitis - peroneal stretching, massage
    * burning arches - calf/peroneal stretching, foot message
    * post-op knee, anterior pain and flexibility - quad and hamstring strength and flexibility, knee scar tissue massage
  4. Muscle Soreness. I'm getting stronger - there's no doubt about that. I'll feel it in my pecs after a swim, in my abs after a downhill run, in my quads after difficult runs and rides... but the price to pay is muscle soreness. And like in hurdle # 3, I sometimes don't know how much rest I need.
  5. Time/energy. I feel distracted from work all the time because I get obsessive over exercise and nutrition. Often, I'll also feel tired during the day because of tough workouts. Sigh. Sometimes I wish I could just take 3 months off from life and focus on getting fit. But only Olympic athletes are allowed to do that. And I should really learn how to better my work/life balance. 
I've found what works at the moment is allowing myself a weekend to chill out on dieting and eat what I want. However, I do have the tendency to binge and I want to be able to get past that. 

The binge doesn't just happen with food. As always, the running lifestyle is a reflection of life in general. I've always known myself to be an "all or nothing" type of person and while there are merits to that, it's less effective in the slow-burn marathon parts of life. I'm slowly learning how to deal with myself as a person. 
"To keep on going, you have to keep up the rhythm." --Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.
As an emotional person (an ENFP), I tend to surround myself with Rationals to keep me calm and secure. I admire how many of my friends are so relatively unfazed by the emotional ups and downs of life. My boyfriend resets every day - even when life rhythm gets interrupted. He's steadfast and diligent and outwardly unswayed by emotions even though I can sense when he's stressed. 

In contrast, I'm not a scheduled type of person and I abhor routine. Emotions hit me hard. I can get obsessive about things - bad or good. Like a sprinter, I go all in or I go all out and I don't have a medium in between for the tedium. But I would certainly love to find a rhythm to the madness. And not only that, I'd love to train myself to quickly recollect when said rhythm gets interrupted. 

I believe that when I mature to this level, I can confidently say "I am going to make a change in my community," remembering that we all start with the [wo]man in the mirror.

So, life. I'm training myself to make healthier choices.

That's part of the reason why I'm starting up monthly commitments. (Update: In March, I've missed my 6:30am wake up time once after staying up late to do work two nights before. And so far, I've been successful at not eating out at restaurants.)

Monday, February 29, 2016

March Commitment: Meals at Home and Mornings to Myself

As part of my "focus" theme this year, I've decided to commit to a different exercise in self-discipline each month. This is partly inspired by Murakami, who struck me as an organic and surreal writer, but upon further research, had actually learned to be quite disciplined in his writing process. Talent is nothing without focus and endurance.

Again, this is really for myself. Self-proclamations that keep me personally accountable:

Meals at Home: The month of March, I will not eat out at restaurants. I will spend money on food only from the grocery store. I can, however, eat at friend/family houses or very special occasions (birthdays don't count but my friend's wedding reception does!).

Mornings to Myself: The month of March, I will wake up by 6:30am on weekdays. The first thing I will do in the morning is put on my robe and start hot water for my morning cup of tea.

Two challenges I'll face this month:

One, spring forward is March 13th. Which means 6:30am will feel like 5am after that date. I'll find a way to make it work!

Second, eating out at restaurants is how one socializes on the fly. But it's a commitment and I think my friends will understand. I'll solve this by bringing my own food and having meals prepped.

Currently Reading: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (Haruki Murakami, 2007)

“I am struck by how, except when you're young, you really need to prioritize in life, figuring out in what order you should divide up your time and energy. If you don't get that sort of system set by a certain age, you'll lack focus and your life will be out of balance.” 

Friday, February 19, 2016

Books and Movies of 2015

Books

Fell short of my goals and read less than last year! But I'm okay with that... because I was part-time for part of last year. 2015 had books that I started but didn't finish -- and books that I sped through.


  • Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1961)
  • Ready Player One (Ernest Cline, 2011)
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain (Garth Stein, 2008)
  • The Martian (Andy Weir, 2011)
  • The Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut, 1959)
  • The Time Machine (H.G. Wells, 1895)
  • Where Does it Hurt?: An Entrepeneur's Guide to Fixing Health Care (Jonathan Bush, 2014)
  • [discontinued] The Island (Aldous Huxley, 1962)

My favorite was The Art of Racing in the Rain because it really reflected how I've been learning to live my life -- fluid, one step at a time, and with joy.

The most interesting was Mother Night because Kurt Vonnegut's writing never disappoints me. "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

The funniest was The Martian because the writing voice was unabashed and it catered to the nerdy soul and engineer in me.

The most disappointing was The Island by Alduous Huxley... because there was too much content. It had so many great ideas but I couldn't get past the writing. I didn't finish but I will try again another year.

Movies

I watched a lot more movies this year and also re-watched a lot of movies. The movies are listed alphabetically but size indicates how it ranks among the other movies I watched in 2015:

  • Back to the Future (1985)
  • Bridesmaids (2011)
  • Broken Circle Breakdown (2012)
  • Chicago (2002)
  • End of Watch (2012)
  • Gone Girl (2014)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
  • Her (2013)
  • Inside Out (2015)
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
  • Pulp Fiction (1994)
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
  • The Fault in Our Stars (2014)
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014)
  • The Interview (2014)
  • The Theory of Everything (2014)
  • Wild (2014)
  • [re] Aladdin (1992)
  • [re] Beauty and the Beast (1992)
  • [re] Hitch (2005)
  • [re] Sweeney Todd (2007)
  • [re] Tarzan (1999)
  • [re] The Emperor's New Groove (1999)
  • [re] The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  • [re] Titanic (1997)
  • [re] Wolf Children (2012)

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

I am truly, truly blessed.

I've intentionally started to detach myself from my major social media outlets: Facebook and Instagram. I only post on Instagram on weekends (and on Marvin's phone where it's installed). And I'm a little ridiculous because I even made a secret pact with myself that I would only post pictures to Facebook seasonally (once every 3-4 months) unless I had a big trip update.

Why do this? I think, essentially, I really want to be more authentic and connected with people physically around me rather than be distracted by image crafting. I want to capture pictures for the memories.

It's harder than it sounds, though:

1) Facebook is really helpful in keeping memories logged chronologically, so I do see some contradiction and pointlessness in my resolve.

2) In person, I have to give story context in a more engaging way (which I'm getting better at). And, if I haven't told a story many times before, I'm less practiced.

3) But the most difficult part is... sometimes I just want an outlet for my feelings.

Sometimes I just want to shout out to the virtual world.

So here is my most recent one:

"When he's your best friend, training partner, and life teammate, every day is happiness."



Life has been so stressful lately. But he's been a bright spot in my life. He keeps my grounded and full of perspective. I am truly, truly blessed.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

In Travel, In Life: Kafka on the Shore

While I was packing for the Grand Canyon, I decided to forego bringing the book I was planning on bringing: "Kafka on the Shore." One night after our return, I heretofore picked it up and started reading... and couldn't put it down. It was the first modern novel at this level of bizarre and surreal. Through every chapter, I thought, "What crazy/weird thing is going to happen next?!" and "How does he blend dream and reality so well?"

I recommend it but I can't say something about this book that hasn't already been said. I liked it because I reacted almost viscerally to his storytelling through most chapters. I was spooked, intrigued, and even disgusted at times. I keep thinking about it three days later. Kafka on the Shore resembles a modern incarnation of the Oedipus mythology. It plays on themes relating to fate, the metaphysical, and emotions.

If there's something that I personally took away from it - it's this line in the beginning chapters:

"In travel a companion, in life compassion."

To which, the protagonist, Kafka, interprets as: "Chance encounters are what keeps us going. In simple terms."

I was puzzled by this and couldn't find myself to agree with the protagonist at the time I read it. The line is never quite revisited but it stuck with me throughout. Clearly, the book was about a journey, an odyssey, that Kafka was meant to fulfill. Chance encounters happened but with such dark overtones in the book, it was hard for me to grasp any sense of optimism the line connotes.

But at the end, despite how bizarre and open-ended the ending of the book was, I did feel a sense of lightness. It may not have been a happy, fairytale ending, but all felt right with the world.

I thought more about my own life. It's unlikely that I'm "fated" to any extreme destiny like murdering my father and finding lost love from a previous life. But for any destiny or any path my choices and subsequent karma would lead me down -- perhaps there is a driving force? Maybe it's analogous to the Christian verse: "All things work together for good" or the Bokonon-ism: "Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God."

So here's a wonderful thought: we can place our own interpretations on chance encounters, but as we go on, our certainty is that we have a friend in travel and compassion in life. Embrace it.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Grand Canyon R2R2R Winter Backpacking


Overview

The following post documents my 6 days, 5 nights, 50 miles, rim to rim to rim experience in Grand Canyon National Park in the thick of winter with my boyfriend, Marvin, and our friend, Leo.

The classic R2R2R hike is beautiful and the Grand Canyon is extremely underrepresented in the winter. In many ways, I hope it stays underrepresented because the quiet and minimal amounts of tourists makes it so much more enjoyable. But if you've found this post, then you were probably already crazy enough to consider it. The few backpackers you meet on the trails share a sense of insanity and camaraderie with you and I encourage you to get to know anyone you get the chance to meet. We (Marvin, Leo, and I) all agree that this is probably one of the coolest vacations/backpacking trips we've ever done.

That said, hiking the Grand Canyon always begins with adequate preparation. NPS rings home the point with our permit reading at the bottom: "AGGRESSIVE ITINERARY! Hiker insisted on itinerary!"

We did our research before this trip and I really hope that this blog helps you in your research but it is not a complete guide. Be flexible and be smart. Just as you can't underestimate the weather of the canyon in the summer, you cannot underestimate the snow, rain, or cold in the winter. Weather forecasts can change quickly and can be unpredictable, so be prepared with water and windproof layers in your clothing system. We started R2R2R with clear weather and a snowstorm rolling in on day 3.

I hope my trip details will help you with your planning!

Here are links to other sites that helped me:



Permit Application Process

The permit application process is very straightforward. You need to send your itinerary request via fax but the National Park Service is very helpful if you want to call ahead to get an idea of what is available. The rangers at the Backcountry Office definitely want you to have a good time. (There is a number of free email to fax services if you don't have access to a fax machine.)

I started planning the itinerary 3-4 weeks in advance. At the time of application, permits were $10 + $8/person/night in the canyon + $8/night at the North Rim Yurt, which totaled to $90 for the three of us. I wanted us to have a few hot meals in the canyon so I also called Phantom Ranch to reserve meals and sack lunches. We got lucky when I called and were offered a night's stay in the dorms at Phantom Ranch and so our final itinerary revolved around that night. A stay at Phantom Ranch is not calculated in the permit fee amount since you already pay for lodging there.

Permit Itinerary

Night | Date | Daily Itinerary Details
01 | 1/2/16 | South Kaibab Trailhead --> 7 mi on South Kaibab Trail --> Bright Angel Campground
02 | 1/3/16 | Bright Angel Campground --> 7.2 mi on North Kaibab Trail --> Cottonwood Campground
03 | 1/4/16 | Cottonwood Campground --> 6.8 mi on North Kaibab Trail --> North Rim Yurt
04 | 1/5/16 | North Rim Yurt --> 14 mi on North Kaibab Trail --> Phantom Ranch
05 | 1/6/16 | Phantom Ranch --> 5.8 mi on Bright Angel Trail --> Indian Garden Campground
Out | 1/7/16 | Indian Garden Campground --> 4.8 mi on Bright Angel Trail --> Bright Angel Trailhead



Day to Day Description

Day 0

We flew into PHX from SFO and rented a car. We then drove to our inn in Flagstaff and had dinner before doing a final gear check and calling it a night early.


Day 1


[05:30] We began the morning early towards Grand Canyon Village (evading elk blocking the road) and dropped off our luggage bags at Bright Angel Lodge where we would stay upon our return. After dropping off our luggage bags, we parked at Backcountry Office and waited for the Blue Shuttle to the South Kaibab Trailhead. On the shuttle bus, we made a friend doing R2R2R in 2 days and we agreed to look out for each other on our day 2 as he was returning to the South Rim.

[07:45] We set out on the South Kaibab Trail while the sky was still tinted with the hues of sunrise. Clear skies and a dramatic landscape make South Kaibab a great choice for first time rim to rim hikers, but we realized afterwards that the steeper ascent made the trip down rougher on the knees and joints despite taking it slow and stopping frequently to take pictures. Our packs were still heavy (30-35 lbs) with our food rations for the week. We made our water weight decisions based on local knowledge of water sources. We knew water would be available at Phantom Ranch, Cottonwood, North Rim Backcountry Office (year-round), and Indian Garden but always asked rangers or fellow hikers and backpackers if they knew the water situation the next day.

At 10:45, we ate an early lunch (Subway sandwhiches we purchased the night before) a few hundred meters before Skeleton Point. In retrospect, I think the best place to have lunch on this descent is on one of the overlooks (pictured below) over the Colorado River about a half hour hike after The Tipoff. We had a noontime snack there while eyeing our destination below at the ranger station and Bright Angel Campground.

Finally, at 13:45, we arrived at the Kaibab Bridge and followed a short walk to Bright Angel Campground where we had our pick of campsites (except for the creek-side ones).
After making camp, we explored the Phantom Ranch area and the canteen, wondering how much this place might mean to us when we returned from the Yurt 3 days later. The temperature at the campground read 51, the high for that day. Not bad for a winter day! We had an early camp dinner and easily called it a night.




Day 2

[05:00] Rolling out of bed, we took a groggy 15 minute walk to Phantom Ranch for early breakfast. Hot meals are heavenly in the winter, which is why we decided to dine at Phantom Ranch that morning - and you really can't go wrong with eggs, bacon, pancakes, peaches, orange juice, and a good cup of joe or hot tea. Hikers and Phantom Ranch guests spoke with worry about the upcoming rain and snowstorms.


[08:30] After packing up camp, we visited the ranch one last time to fill up on water and set out for Cottonwood Campground. Along the way, we met a very nice team of NPS employees catching fish by Bright Angel Creek. Jen (sp?) happily filled us in on the 5-year natural resource restoration project they were working on: non-native bass were introduced into the creek for sport fishing several decades ago, interrupting the creek's natural ecosystem. Their goal is to reduce the population size of the non-native fish to help the native wildlife numbers increase. Among the wildlife they are hoping to bring back are the humpback chubs, which hadn't yet been seen by Jen. Along the way to Cottonwood, we also ran into our friend Justin, whom we had met on the bus, making good time on the way back. There would be about 3 ft of snow with the storm rolling in.


[12:45] After a few confusing signs to the Ribbon Falls bridge, we stopped just short of the actual falls to set our packs down and have lunch (Phantom Ranch sack lunch this time). If we had known better, we would have brought our lunch out to the falls so we could enjoy them while sitting behind the falls. Without much of an idea of what were looking at, the falls grew increasingly epic as we approached and explored. This is definitely a pit stop worth taking. Be sure to set your packs down early!

[15:00] The falls were just a short 1.4 mi from Cottonwood, so our early arrival allowed us to set up camp and cook dinner before nightfall. We were expecting rainfall that night due to the storm rumors and the 15 minutes of light snowflakes we experienced at Ribbon Falls. It was also relatively warm out thanks to the warm front from the storms. Colder than Phantom Ranch but definitely warmer than the South Rim, which we heard was sitting in the 30s.

According to Leo, the walk between Cottonwood and Bright Angel feels "very Middle Earth" and I must agree. With all the precipitation in the spring and winter, the area stays green and the
temperatures were cool and comfortable.


Day 3

[06:30] Snow showers began after we ate breakfast and we ended up with wet tents. Although we were stashing them on the campground before our ascent up the North Rim, we were sad that the water weight would weigh us down upon our return. I insisted that we store my sleeping bag because I believed the wood burning stove was warm and the yurt was insulated enough for my boyfriend and I to share one sleeping bag as a blanket.

[09:30] With a total of 10 lbs of camping gear unloaded between us three (hey, every pound counts!), we began our ascent in a serious snow drizzle. A pack of day hikers making camp at Cottonwood trailblazed the way ahead of us and we were thankful to them when we hit serious snow past the Supai Tunnel. The ascent was relatively easy up until the last 1.5 miles or so, which we anticipated. Ascending uses a different set of muscles and far less impact than descending. The weather at the Supai Tunnel around 1pm was in the 39-40 F -- not bad at all.

[14:45] From Supai Tunnel, it took me two hours to reach the North Kaibab Trailhead. The switchbacks in deep snow were difficult and seemingly endless. But oh so gorgeous. I can see why many call the North Kaibab Trail their favorite. The canyon views are vast and deep and varied.
We happened to meet two rangers on snowmobiles who had just restocked the Yurt with wood. The snow was pouring at that point and they noted that the snowstorm would continue for the next few days.

[15:00] We arrived at the Yurt and got the wood burning stove going. We didn't have trouble getting the fire started, but we got a lot of smoke backing up and filling the yurt. If anyone has any tips for that, please comment or let us know!

While I watched the stove, the boys set out to get water at the North Rim Backcountry Office, which was apparently difficult to identify with all the snow pouring in. We had no idea what the North Rim looked like in the on-season so finding the water source was a bit of a quest.

The Yurt was stocked with two yoga mats (possibly useful for sleeping mat replacement), some cookware, plates and bowls, a few board games, an ax, a small first aid kit, and more. If you're nice enough, bring something in advance to contribute (it could use a deck of cards as of 1/4/2016). There is also a Yurt Log (guest book) so think of something clever before you get there!

Unfortunately, we decided to skip out on Roaring Springs due to the snow so I can't say much about how much it was worth visiting in the winter. I did stop to appreciate how the springs provided water to the entire inner corridor up to Indian Garden, where water is pumped to the Grand Canyon Village in the South Rim.




Day 4

[07:50] A few minutes behind schedule, we had 14 miles of descent to cover before our late dinner at Phantom Ranch (6:30pm). With fresh snow, we didn't need our crampons and the views were once again gorgeous. On our way down, we ran into two other souls making a day hike up.

[13:00] We finally made it to our halfway point at Cottonwood to pick up our tents and my sleeping bag. After lunch, we set out with more weight and refilled water.

[16:30] At last, we reached Phantom Ranch and checked in. Phantom Ranch was nice enough to make extra veggie chili stew for Leo that night. We had a wonderful and much needed hot shower before dinner at 6:30pm. At this point, I was very happy that we all invested in trekking poles. They are an absolute must on long trips like this with heavy packs!

It was wonderful meeting the hikers at dinner:
- Sue on her yearly trek into the canyon, going farther each year. Her friend, a vegan, wasn't able to join us for dinner but we did meet her the next morning.
- Bob and Becky, a couple who met while floating on the Colorado River a couple of years ago. They go back every year. :)<3

By the end of dinner, we were too tired to hang out in the canteen so we decided to wash up and call it a night early. I feel tired just thinking about that day.






Day 5

[07:00] After a pleasant late breakfast at PR, we took our sweet time re-packing. At 8:30am, we hung out in the canteen for postcards and souvenirs and spent a moment to wish our fellow hikers happy trails. Many Grand Canyon and Arizona regulars noted that the last nights rainfall was the most they had seen in a long while (#ElNinoisreal?)... making us feel very lucky that we had a warm dorm bed, a hot shower, and warm meals at Phantom Ranch that night.

[08:45] We began a pleasant walk up Bright Angel Trail to Indian Garden Campground feeling refreshed. Despite muddy trails from the last night's rainfall, we got to appreciate how dramatic the Colorado River was. The rains also seemed to bring a lot of wildlife out: we spotted many flycatchers, a few bluebirds, and a Woodhouse Toad on the trail. In retrospect, perhaps starting at Bright Angel Trail would have been better and easier on the knees but S. Kaibab Trail offered more dramatic views and I think, at the cost of our mid-20s knees, we had done it the right way the first time around.

[14:00] After making camp, eating lunch, and relaxing at Indian Campground, we set out for a short 1.5 miles to Plateau Point where we took the time to take pictures, chat, and reflect on our journey. The views were sweeping even with more stormclouds rolling in. However, the storm gathered quickly by 5:00pm and we couldn't stay for sunset. We were delighted to cross paths with a family of mule deer on the plateau on our way back. At 6:00pm, we enjoyed dinner and called it a night before the rain started pouring.



Day 6


[09:00] Camping in the rain is really annoying... staying dry is a challenge and backpacking with wet tents added to the extra weight we lost from eating. Packing up camp took a while but it was a magical surprise hanging out with a family of mule deer wandering our campground. Glad for our character-building night before hiking out of the canyon, we set out for our endpoint: Bright Angel Trailhead. The trails were muddy up until the 3 mile rest house. Then, with the snow, we enjoyed the brisk walk up and reminisced on how much more beautiful the snow was at the North Rim.

[12:45] We got to the trailhead before 2pm, took our final "WE SURVIVED" pictures, and went straight to Bright Angel Lodge for check in. After five nights in the canyon, our completion of the journey was still surreal and we did not feel as dead or sore as we thought we would.

Mustering up our suprisingly generous store of energy, we dropped our stuff off, showered, and walked over to the Backcountry Office to find our little Hyundai Accent rental car buried in 2-3ft of snow. After digging out the car with shovels we borrowed from the Backcountry office, we visited Justin at the General Store, ate dinner at the Yavasupai tavern, and finally crashed back at our lodge room.



Cheers to a rim to rim to rim officially complete!

Check out our Facebook album here:


50 miles in 6d5n, snow, rain, landscapes of grandeur
Posted by Marvin Shu on Thursday, January 7, 2016


About the Hikers

All of us are recreational hikers who keep decently fit:
Andrea - bioengineer, project manager, runner, trip planner
Marvin - electrical engineer (hardware), climber, most experienced among the three of us
Leo - electrical engineer (networking), comic artist, runner, vegetarian