Just Checking In | Lessons I Learned in College and Grad School

Currently Listening: Nujabes - Luv(sic) parts 1-6

Currently Reading: Meditations (Marcus Aurelius), The Picture of Dorian Gray (Oscar Wilde)

It's so hard to find a gig that lives up to the billing
Trying to find a reason to work, god willing
I admit, my thinking is wishful
Like a star upon a child gazing up to the ceiling
How far do we have to stretch the truth
To fit the lifestyles borrowed and overdue?
We can take it all back to the register
And start all over from the canister
Let's break it all down into pieces of bright
Moments that pass by like a meteorite
Throw on your favorite reel that's good to go
On the analog player watch the people glow
Sit back to the breeze let the memories flow
Comedy tragedy all the highs and lows

Recent Happenings/Endeavors:

• Applying for jobs... deadline for self: end of August
• Slowly returning to athletic activity/training.... I should really see a doctor about my knee...
• Attempting to detach from posting too much on Facebook.... using Yelp and Instagram more
• Reading more, cleaning more, getting my act together...
• Laptop in Geek Squad repair due to hardware issues; using an old family laptop in the meantime

Not too much going on right now, although my days are mostly filled up. I missed the last two blogging Mondays because I've been caught up in graduation, spending time with family and friends, etc.. In the meantime, I've been working on a set of reflections/overall lessons from college and grad school but it's really hard to sum up six years of lessons. I guess I'll post a draft here:

General Lessons

1. Perfectionism is great - but don't let it paralyze you. You can't let the thought of failure or mediocrity deter you from actually DOING something. Go out there and do it to the best of your ability. Maybe in the end, it won't be perfectly to your standard, but it's better than not trying or half-assing it.
2. Stop worrying about making the right decision. Be decisive. Take time to consider your options - realize that all options contain some variety of benefits, struggles, and failures. You'll never TRULY know what is on the other side of the fence; be at peace with that and run with whatever decision you've made.
3. Fake it until you make it.
4. Focus your resources on your strengths; don't spend too much time trying to mitigate your weaknesses.
5. There is nothing wrong with taking the time to manage your appearance/image with diet, exercise, and daily maintenance. It is a vehicle for your soul and spirit! As much as it feels superficial, people will treat you differently based on how you appear to them. Look and feel confident.
6. And on that note, stop caring about what everyone else thinks. Don't run around trying to meet the expectations of others without knowing what you expect from yourself. 
7. Exercise a strong sense of self based on data and facts - not the opinions of others (or your own delusions). There will be times when people make you feel like you're not good enough. Conversely, people may make you feel like you're too good for something. If you have a strong sense of you are - GO FOR IT.
8. A motivator that works for me: "You're better than that. Now go and prove it." 
9. Simplify, simplify, simplify.... but don't oversimplify. Spend money as needed. Minimize excess.

On Relationships with People

1. Surround yourself with people who make/inspire you to be a better person. Give freely to the people you want to keep in your life. Choose wisely. It is also beneficial to be in the company of different types of people - those who think and feel differently from you along with those who resonate with you intellectually and emotionally. 
2. Don't be afraid of getting hurt (emotionally). But don't let others take advantage of you; approach your relationships with caution. 
3. Live in the present of your relationships, not in the past or the future. "The good times you have had together are cherished memories, but they will not sustain a bad relationship [...] Neither will the hope of ending up together one day when you return from abroad, as powerful as that hope may be. [...] The past and the future are nice thoughts, but they are not powerful enough to sustain a relationship that is rotting away. Make your present relationship good, and the other good things will come with it." 
4. Be wary of letting insecurity define your relationships. Insecurity is a cruel and subtle beast that burns voids into your soul. You might try to fill those voids with the external validation of others. However, you are responsible for your own happiness; don't expect others to give you that.
5. Genuine love involves concern for another person's happiness over your own. Sometimes that involves detaching yourself from their life for a period of time. Sometimes it means giving the hard truth. Sometimes it means the best gift you can give is the certainty that you will stand by their side.
6. Being "in love" and "loving someone" are distinct concepts but not mutually exclusive.  
7. Communicate your needs clearly in a relationship.
8. Good relationships with family is easily one of the most important things you learn to maintain.