April Commitment: Morning Medley

Last month was hard. This month, I'll try to simplify.

Morning Medley: Every weekday, when I wake up, I will follow this routine:

• For better energy: Drink a glass of water or a hot cup of tea
• For better core strength: 1-3 plant sets, starting at least 1'30'' per plank (use this time to think)
• For better directionality: Write down at least 1 long-term goal and 3 goals on a post-it note

The last one, I've already started doing for work and it's been working great. I write down my daily To Dos and keep my post-its in my work notebook. It's nice seeing them stack onto each other.

What I learned in March:

1. I should prepare better for exams! Set aside 4 hours per week to study outside of class.
2. My commitments should not underestimate impending stressors. I failed on both March commitments during exam week. I could not justify loss of sleep and stress over my diet during the most difficult Anatomy unit of the semester.
3. My diet strategy is too stressful and/or I spend way too much time planning my meals. I must simplify my eating habits.
4. Waking up at 6:30am is somewhat unrealistic given my varied sleep times. I still enjoy waking up at 6:30am... just not every morning. Getting adequate sleep is still something rather elusive to me. Maybe I need a minimum weekly total hours?

B2B Training Log: Week 1

With 8 weeks remaining, I find myself at a comfortable weight (5'2" 123-125lb). It is time to train for the sub-60 12km I've been pining after for two years since my first B2B in 2014.

I've come a long way since May of last year, when I was just 6 months post-surgery. I was 6-10lb heavier and far less fit from a cardiovascular perspective. 2015 would be riddled with colds and overuse injuries (foot, shin, and knee problems) that put me under goal times (which were, admittedly, unrealistic). You live and you learn, though, and in 2016 I've been more diligent about avoiding sickness and injury.

Week 1 (03.20.2016 - 03.26.2016)

I had an anatomy practical and exam this week - so I held off on my March commitment of not eating out and chose not to stress about dieting. I didn't anticipate the stress of the exam week in my March commitment plan so that is something to consider in my next monthly commitment.

I've got to get more serious about strength and core training. Gonna challenge myself to plank every day starting in Week 2. The good news is I've noticed my reverse pull-ups getting easier and I'm coming very close to a full pull-up from a dead hang!

I ended the week with ~47-miles of biking plus a 4-mile hike in Mt. Tampalaias State Park (Old Mine Trail-Dipsea-Steep Ravine). I had been yearning for a long ride since I had been so focused on exams and work and that Saturday felt like a day off. :-) Not to mention, I had overeaten the past two weeks and I wanted something challenging and, admittedly, depleting. Unfortunately, I was reminded that overtraining often weakens your immune system. Not only did I feel very cold after working out, but I also ended up with a headache and mouth ulcers the day after, making it painful to eat and swallow anything tough. Hopefully my immune system jumps back quickly before I get exposed to any illness-inducing pathogens. Until then, I'm eating right to sustain myself.

Workouts this Week

• Hills, Easy ~6km | This local run included some light hill work. (31:52 @ 8:30 pace)
• Full Body Strength and Core | lightly weighted squats (10-12 lb dumbells), lunges, a few minutes of inversions, and arm work, including reverse pullups, dead-hangs, and hanging leg raises.
• Long Run ~10km | I biked 4.5 mi to Ocean Beach as a warm-up, ran the 3+ miles of the Ocean Beach strip at an easy-ish pace (~8:30) and turned around to do a tempo'd pace back (~8:00). This run seemed a bit more difficult to stay at 8:00 pace despite the flat course. I'd guess because I was heavier at ~126lb and because I was lacking sleep.
• Long Bike Ride (Cross-Training) | 47 miles of biking, plus a 4-mile hike in Mt. Tam at mile 26. 1500ft climb over 7 miles (miles 19-26). Ridiculously difficult. I did have to stop a couple of times going up since (1) I was biking more than I'd ever biked in a single ride before and (2) biking up with a hybrid bike is SO MUCH HARDER than a roadie. One day I will get a road bike.... ONE DAY. I really enjoyed this long ride but I need to develop a better energy strategy.

Totals 

Run: 10.35 mi
Bike: 55.32 mi

Rain Run Therapy

I don't remember the last time I ran in the rain before last night. But I do remember how therapeutic running in the rain is.

Running in the rain... is one version of compassion to myself. 

At times, I'd just close my eyes and feel the coolness of each droplet as my legs turned over on the soft polyurethane. I'd feel the kick of droplets onto my calves and the slick of my Columbia rain jacket. The air was cool and had a beautiful, crisp quality to it.

My mind whispered my running mantra: "Quick. Smooth. Relaxed." again and again. 
My cadence steadied with each instrument of thought.

I am on a track and I know exactly where I am going--into the present. I'm not anywhere else but in the rain, running.

And I know I never want to go back. I look forward towards a better me while remaining present.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all found compassion for ourselves?

MapMyRun app and GPS kept crashing. I'm not even mad.

Currently Listening: The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

Fitness Journey Hurdles

My Anatomy professor gave me an excuse to check myself out:
Look at that GASTROCNEMIUS

I've lost six pounds in eight weeks since coming back from the Grand Canyon thanks to running, cycling, and a monitoring of carb and protein intake. The use of MapMyRun and MyFitnessPal has helped significantly.

But as I progress, there are many hurdles on the fitness journey!

1. People questioning your motives. Why put yourself through so much self-denial, pain, and unhappiness? Just because I think skinny is beautiful? Why complicate my life for a superficial reason? First, I understand that I have been influenced by media to believe "skinny is beautiful." But I'm turning away from that and I'm focusing on performance and fitness. I think I'd be truly unhappy with my body if I was skinny but wasn't fit. I love when I can run a 7:30 mile for four miles straight--being lean is a nice benefit and losing weight has drastically helped my performance thus far. Second, self-denial is not always painful. It is really difficult. But it doesn't mean it's painful. No one got to where they wanted without utilizing self-discipline!
2. Not letting compliments get to your head. It feels great when people notice your results and it makes you want to have cake. But the journey isn't over! The journey. Isn't. Over!!
3. INJURIES. Overuse injuries are the bane of my existence. I do a good amount of legwork focusing on muscle imbalance. I do a lot of stretching focusing on myofascial release. I give myself 1-2 days off my feet (but I still take the stairs to get to work...). But things always seem to hurt in my legs and feet. In particular, I have average to high arches and I still feel weakness in my left leg since surgery. Injuries are the most annoying part of this journey but I really think it's more about understanding my limits and going at a pace my body can handle. Things I am actively trying to prevent or working on:
   * shin splints - calf stretching, massage
   * peroneal tendonitis - peroneal stretching, massage
   * burning arches - calf/peroneal stretching, foot message
   * post-op knee, anterior pain and flexibility - quad and hamstring strength and flexibility, knee scar tissue massage
4. Muscle Soreness. I'm getting stronger - there's no doubt about that. I'll feel it in my pecs after a swim, in my abs after a downhill run, in my quads after difficult runs and rides... but the price to pay is muscle soreness. And like in hurdle # 3, I sometimes don't know how much rest I need.
5. Time/energy. I feel distracted from work all the time because I get obsessive over exercise and nutrition. Often, I'll also feel tired during the day because of tough workouts. Sigh. Sometimes I wish I could just take 3 months off from life and focus on getting fit. But only Olympic athletes are allowed to do that. And I should really learn how to better my work/life balance. 

I've found what works at the moment is allowing myself a weekend to chill out on dieting and eat what I want. However, I do have the tendency to binge and I want to be able to get past that. 

The binge doesn't just happen with food. As always, the running lifestyle is a reflection of life in general. I've always known myself to be an "all or nothing" type of person and while there are merits to that, it's less effective in the slow-burn marathon parts of life. I'm slowly learning how to deal with myself as a person. 

"To keep on going, you have to keep up the rhythm." --Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.

As an emotional person (an ENFP), I tend to surround myself with Rationals to keep me calm and secure. I admire how many of my friends are so relatively unfazed by the emotional ups and downs of life. My boyfriend resets every day - even when life rhythm gets interrupted. He's steadfast and diligent and outwardly unswayed by emotions even though I can sense when he's stressed. 

In contrast, I'm not a scheduled type of person and I abhor routine. Emotions hit me hard. I can get obsessive about things - bad or good. Like a sprinter, I go all in or I go all out and I don't have a medium in between for the tedium. But I would certainly love to find a rhythm to the madness. And not only that, I'd love to train myself to quickly recollect when said rhythm gets interrupted. 

I believe that when I mature to this level, I can confidently say "I am going to make a change in my community," remembering that we all start with the [wo]man in the mirror.

So, life. I'm training myself to make healthier choices.

That's part of the reason why I'm starting up monthly commitments. (Update: In March, I've missed my 6:30am wake up time once after staying up late to do work two nights before. And so far, I've been successful at not eating out at restaurants.)

Currently Reading: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (Haruki Murakami, 2007)

March Commitment: Meals at Home and Mornings to Myself

As part of my "focus" theme this year, I've decided to commit to a different exercise in self-discipline each month. This is partly inspired by Murakami, who struck me as an organic and surreal writer, but upon further research, had actually learned to be quite disciplined in his writing process. Talent is nothing without focus and endurance.

Again, this is really for myself. Self-proclamations that keep me personally accountable:

Meals at Home: The month of March, I will not eat out at restaurants. I will spend money on food only from the grocery store. I can, however, eat at friend/family houses or very special occasions (birthdays don't count but my friend's wedding reception does!).

Mornings to Myself: The month of March, I will wake up by 6:30am on weekdays. The first thing I will do in the morning is put on my robe and start hot water for my morning cup of tea.

Two challenges I'll face this month:

One, spring forward is March 13th. Which means 6:30am will feel like 5am after that date. I'll find a way to make it work!

Second, eating out at restaurants is how one socializes on the fly. But it's a commitment and I think my friends will understand. I'll solve this by bringing my own food and having meals prepped.

Currently Reading: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (Haruki Murakami, 2007)

“I am struck by how, except when you're young, you really need to prioritize in life, figuring out in what order you should divide up your time and energy. If you don't get that sort of system set by a certain age, you'll lack focus and your life will be out of balance.” 

Books and Movies of 2015

Books

Fell short of my goals and read less than last year! But I'm okay with that... because I was part-time for part of last year. 2015 had books that I started but didn't finish -- and books that I sped through.

• Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1961)
• Ready Player One (Ernest Cline, 2011)
• The Art of Racing in the Rain (Garth Stein, 2008)
• The Martian (Andy Weir, 2011)
• The Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut, 1959)
• The Time Machine (H.G. Wells, 1895)
• Where Does it Hurt?: An Entrepeneur's Guide to Fixing Health Care (Jonathan Bush, 2014)
• [discontinued] The Island (Aldous Huxley, 1962)

My favorite was The Art of Racing in the Rain because it really reflected how I've been learning to live my life -- fluid, one step at a time, and with joy.

The most interesting was Mother Night because Kurt Vonnegut's writing never disappoints me. "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

The funniest was The Martian because the writing voice was unabashed and it catered to the nerdy soul and engineer in me.

The most disappointing was The Island by Alduous Huxley... because there was too much content. It had so many great ideas but I couldn't get past the writing. I didn't finish but I will try again another year.

Movies

I watched a lot more movies this year and also re-watched a lot of movies. The movies are listed alphabetically but size indicates how it ranks among the other movies I watched in 2015:

• Back to the Future (1985)
• Bridesmaids (2011)
• Broken Circle Breakdown (2012)
• Chicago (2002)
• End of Watch (2012)
• Gone Girl (2014)
• Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
• Her (2013)
• Inside Out (2015)
• Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
• Pulp Fiction (1994)
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
• The Fault in Our Stars (2014)
• The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014)
• The Interview (2014)
• The Theory of Everything (2014)
• Wild (2014)
• [re] Aladdin (1992)
• [re] Beauty and the Beast (1992)
• [re] Hitch (2005)
• [re] Sweeney Todd (2007)
• [re] Tarzan (1999)
• [re] The Emperor's New Groove (1999)
• [re] The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
• [re] Titanic (1997)
• [re] Wolf Children (2012)

I am truly, truly blessed.

I've intentionally started to detach myself from my major social media outlets: Facebook and Instagram. I only post on Instagram on weekends (and on Marvin's phone where it's installed). And I'm a little ridiculous because I even made a secret pact with myself that I would only post pictures to Facebook seasonally (once every 3-4 months) unless I had a big trip update.

Why do this? I think, essentially, I really want to be more authentic and connected with people physically around me rather than be distracted by image crafting. I want to capture pictures for the memories.

It's harder than it sounds, though:

1) Facebook is really helpful in keeping memories logged chronologically, so I do see some contradiction and pointlessness in my resolve.

2) In person, I have to give story context in a more engaging way (which I'm getting better at). And, if I haven't told a story many times before, I'm less practiced.

3) But the most difficult part is... sometimes I just want an outlet for my feelings.

Sometimes I just want to shout out to the virtual world.

So here is my most recent one:

"When he's your best friend, training partner, and life teammate, every day is happiness."



Life has been so stressful lately. But he's been a bright spot in my life. He keeps my grounded and full of perspective. I am truly, truly blessed.