Okay, it's time to bite the bullet, forget the writer's block, and finally update my blog. I feel like there hasn't really been much to talk about since I've been taking a pretty minimalist approach to life. But I think this will be a good place to keep track of my goals and current life ideologies.
1) "Spending less" is becoming a big part of my life in Berkeley. It was a big part in Hong Kong, too, but it's more significant now because I don't have income from tutoring part-time and because I now have student loans looming beyond the horizon. Luckily, I've become more and more minimalist (something I've taken away from living abroad and having to live a more mobile lifestyle) and it isn't that difficult to decide that I can't afford one thing if it means sacrificing another. (A trip home versus a new dress, for example.)
2) Decisiveness. I think this is the most important thing I am learning, especially as it applies to my job search and my future. I had a conversation with an old friend who conveyed to me:
- One way to success is to choose a path and stick with it--don't get so tangled up in the things that everyone else tells you.
- You can always create your own happiness.
- You'll never know if the other paths you could have taken were better.
In my opinion, those idea-isms by themselves are enough to bring you your own definition of success.
In the past, I never really saw decisiveness as a good quality. I was afraid that you would miss something by being too tunnel-visioned or blindsided by one thing. However, I think I confused decisiveness with stubbornness. Decisiveness contains elements of adaptation and diligence while stubbornness contains elements of resistance and persistence. Decisiveness is understanding the time you should take considering your options. Decisiveness is realizing that all your options will contain all sorts of benefits, struggles, and failures. Decisiveness is knowing that you'll never truly know what was on the other side of the fence and being at peace with that.
3) People. When I said "create your own happinesss," the major condition was that you surround yourself with people that you love and that make you a better person. The focus on ambition and career these days is such a smokescreen for the stuff you are really supposed to care about. Money and personal achievement surely go a long way on Maslow's heirarchy but in the end, assuming you weren't blinded by the selfish pursuit of glory and things, wasn't that climb all about making money to improve the quality of life of your loved ones/potential spouses/future children?
- I try a little harder (really, I'm kind of terrible at this stuff) to be closer to my parents because I know that one day they might not be there for me. I lament all the times I might've been mean to them and I emotionally try to work through all of the grudges I may have developed over the years. I motivate my job search by seeing a future where I can afford to replace my dad's cell phone when it breaks or buy my mom a ticket to visit family in Philippines or help make payments on the house.
- More and more I am trying to keep in contact with friends I trust and care about--even if they're all the way in Chicago, Boston, back at home, or two cities away. I am by no means perfect and I still fail when it comes to responding to text/FB messages or reaching out to old friends. But I'm not going to give up. Contrary to what I've been led to believe, keeping important people in your life really takes effort. Especially at this stage of personal and community development. There are so many people I care about!
I truly apologize if I've been MIA from your lives and if you've felt sad/bitter about it. Maybe it's too excessive to reach out when I don't really need to but then again would that mean you become just a "convenient friend"? My hope is that no one would feel that way. When you think of me as a friend, I'd hope for it to mean shared memories, a sense of belonging, and a readily available ear in times of distress or joy. I really hope you know that you're still important to me even as time moves on.
