Saturday, November 10, 2018

mokelumne wilderness

when we were together,

you were the salience of a stable calm
in the chaotic winds of change -
moments that made me better.
moments that made you love -
i was the essence of warm sunlight
scattered in an achromatic meadow.

we climbed mountains,
i pushed you further,
you drew me inward.
home was always within.
and we saw that through the leaves
from the forest floor.

we laughed, hugged, joked, loved..
i learned and you learned and we learned.

but it didn't last like we said it would.
we theorized - said forever in passing.
but did we truly believe it?

when i find an old memory, i might feel homesick
and i'm fraught with questions:

could i have tried harder?
could i have yielded more?
could i have loved better?
could i have been more patient?

pointless recursions -
the answer is always the same
(maybe / not enough / we grew apart)
the night changes
and we're only human - only human.
i let the rain fall
and then i look inward
and i touch the newness of a clear sky
from the mountain of my own soul.

we were only almost forever
but we loved, and that was certain.
there was so much good -
so much to remember -
but most of all,
you changed me for good.

because of that
i can look back and say
"that was wonderful.
thank you, old soul,
old friend."

i know that will last.