Friday, February 19, 2016

Books and Movies of 2015

Books

Fell short of my goals and read less than last year! But I'm okay with that... because I was part-time for part of last year. 2015 had books that I started but didn't finish -- and books that I sped through.


  • Mother Night (Kurt Vonnegut, 1961)
  • Ready Player One (Ernest Cline, 2011)
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain (Garth Stein, 2008)
  • The Martian (Andy Weir, 2011)
  • The Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut, 1959)
  • The Time Machine (H.G. Wells, 1895)
  • Where Does it Hurt?: An Entrepeneur's Guide to Fixing Health Care (Jonathan Bush, 2014)
  • [discontinued] The Island (Aldous Huxley, 1962)

My favorite was The Art of Racing in the Rain because it really reflected how I've been learning to live my life -- fluid, one step at a time, and with joy.

The most interesting was Mother Night because Kurt Vonnegut's writing never disappoints me. "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

The funniest was The Martian because the writing voice was unabashed and it catered to the nerdy soul and engineer in me.

The most disappointing was The Island by Alduous Huxley... because there was too much content. It had so many great ideas but I couldn't get past the writing. I didn't finish but I will try again another year.

Movies

I watched a lot more movies this year and also re-watched a lot of movies. The movies are listed alphabetically but size indicates how it ranks among the other movies I watched in 2015:

  • Back to the Future (1985)
  • Bridesmaids (2011)
  • Broken Circle Breakdown (2012)
  • Chicago (2002)
  • End of Watch (2012)
  • Gone Girl (2014)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
  • Her (2013)
  • Inside Out (2015)
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
  • Pulp Fiction (1994)
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
  • The Fault in Our Stars (2014)
  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014)
  • The Interview (2014)
  • The Theory of Everything (2014)
  • Wild (2014)
  • [re] Aladdin (1992)
  • [re] Beauty and the Beast (1992)
  • [re] Hitch (2005)
  • [re] Sweeney Todd (2007)
  • [re] Tarzan (1999)
  • [re] The Emperor's New Groove (1999)
  • [re] The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  • [re] Titanic (1997)
  • [re] Wolf Children (2012)

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

I am truly, truly blessed.

I've intentionally started to detach myself from my major social media outlets: Facebook and Instagram. I only post on Instagram on weekends (and on Marvin's phone where it's installed). And I'm a little ridiculous because I even made a secret pact with myself that I would only post pictures to Facebook seasonally (once every 3-4 months) unless I had a big trip update.

Why do this? I think, essentially, I really want to be more authentic and connected with people physically around me rather than be distracted by image crafting. I want to capture pictures for the memories.

It's harder than it sounds, though:

1) Facebook is really helpful in keeping memories logged chronologically, so I do see some contradiction and pointlessness in my resolve.

2) In person, I have to give story context in a more engaging way (which I'm getting better at). And, if I haven't told a story many times before, I'm less practiced.

3) But the most difficult part is... sometimes I just want an outlet for my feelings.

Sometimes I just want to shout out to the virtual world.

So here is my most recent one:

"When he's your best friend, training partner, and life teammate, every day is happiness."



Life has been so stressful lately. But he's been a bright spot in my life. He keeps my grounded and full of perspective. I am truly, truly blessed.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

In Travel, In Life: Kafka on the Shore

While I was packing for the Grand Canyon, I decided to forego bringing the book I was planning on bringing: "Kafka on the Shore." One night after our return, I heretofore picked it up and started reading... and couldn't put it down. It was the first modern novel at this level of bizarre and surreal. Through every chapter, I thought, "What crazy/weird thing is going to happen next?!" and "How does he blend dream and reality so well?"

I recommend it but I can't say something about this book that hasn't already been said. I liked it because I reacted almost viscerally to his storytelling through most chapters. I was spooked, intrigued, and even disgusted at times. I keep thinking about it three days later. Kafka on the Shore resembles a modern incarnation of the Oedipus mythology. It plays on themes relating to fate, the metaphysical, and emotions.

If there's something that I personally took away from it - it's this line in the beginning chapters:

"In travel a companion, in life compassion."

To which, the protagonist, Kafka, interprets as: "Chance encounters are what keeps us going. In simple terms."

I was puzzled by this and couldn't find myself to agree with the protagonist at the time I read it. The line is never quite revisited but it stuck with me throughout. Clearly, the book was about a journey, an odyssey, that Kafka was meant to fulfill. Chance encounters happened but with such dark overtones in the book, it was hard for me to grasp any sense of optimism the line connotes.

But at the end, despite how bizarre and open-ended the ending of the book was, I did feel a sense of lightness. It may not have been a happy, fairytale ending, but all felt right with the world.

I thought more about my own life. It's unlikely that I'm "fated" to any extreme destiny like murdering my father and finding lost love from a previous life. But for any destiny or any path my choices and subsequent karma would lead me down -- perhaps there is a driving force? Maybe it's analogous to the Christian verse: "All things work together for good" or the Bokonon-ism: "Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God."

So here's a wonderful thought: we can place our own interpretations on chance encounters, but as we go on, our certainty is that we have a friend in travel and compassion in life. Embrace it.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Grand Canyon R2R2R Winter Backpacking


Overview

The following post documents my 6 days, 5 nights, 50 miles, rim to rim to rim experience in Grand Canyon National Park in the thick of winter with my boyfriend, Marvin, and our friend, Leo.

The classic R2R2R hike is beautiful and the Grand Canyon is extremely underrepresented in the winter. In many ways, I hope it stays underrepresented because the quiet and minimal amounts of tourists makes it so much more enjoyable. But if you've found this post, then you were probably already crazy enough to consider it. The few backpackers you meet on the trails share a sense of insanity and camaraderie with you and I encourage you to get to know anyone you get the chance to meet. We (Marvin, Leo, and I) all agree that this is probably one of the coolest vacations/backpacking trips we've ever done.

That said, hiking the Grand Canyon always begins with adequate preparation. NPS rings home the point with our permit reading at the bottom: "AGGRESSIVE ITINERARY! Hiker insisted on itinerary!"

We did our research before this trip and I really hope that this blog helps you in your research but it is not a complete guide. Be flexible and be smart. Just as you can't underestimate the weather of the canyon in the summer, you cannot underestimate the snow, rain, or cold in the winter. Weather forecasts can change quickly and can be unpredictable, so be prepared with water and windproof layers in your clothing system. We started R2R2R with clear weather and a snowstorm rolling in on day 3.

I hope my trip details will help you with your planning!

Here are links to other sites that helped me:



Permit Application Process

The permit application process is very straightforward. You need to send your itinerary request via fax but the National Park Service is very helpful if you want to call ahead to get an idea of what is available. The rangers at the Backcountry Office definitely want you to have a good time. (There is a number of free email to fax services if you don't have access to a fax machine.)

I started planning the itinerary 3-4 weeks in advance. At the time of application, permits were $10 + $8/person/night in the canyon + $8/night at the North Rim Yurt, which totaled to $90 for the three of us. I wanted us to have a few hot meals in the canyon so I also called Phantom Ranch to reserve meals and sack lunches. We got lucky when I called and were offered a night's stay in the dorms at Phantom Ranch and so our final itinerary revolved around that night. A stay at Phantom Ranch is not calculated in the permit fee amount since you already pay for lodging there.

Permit Itinerary

Night | Date | Daily Itinerary Details
01 | 1/2/16 | South Kaibab Trailhead --> 7 mi on South Kaibab Trail --> Bright Angel Campground
02 | 1/3/16 | Bright Angel Campground --> 7.2 mi on North Kaibab Trail --> Cottonwood Campground
03 | 1/4/16 | Cottonwood Campground --> 6.8 mi on North Kaibab Trail --> North Rim Yurt
04 | 1/5/16 | North Rim Yurt --> 14 mi on North Kaibab Trail --> Phantom Ranch
05 | 1/6/16 | Phantom Ranch --> 5.8 mi on Bright Angel Trail --> Indian Garden Campground
Out | 1/7/16 | Indian Garden Campground --> 4.8 mi on Bright Angel Trail --> Bright Angel Trailhead



Day to Day Description

Day 0

We flew into PHX from SFO and rented a car. We then drove to our inn in Flagstaff and had dinner before doing a final gear check and calling it a night early.


Day 1


[05:30] We began the morning early towards Grand Canyon Village (evading elk blocking the road) and dropped off our luggage bags at Bright Angel Lodge where we would stay upon our return. After dropping off our luggage bags, we parked at Backcountry Office and waited for the Blue Shuttle to the South Kaibab Trailhead. On the shuttle bus, we made a friend doing R2R2R in 2 days and we agreed to look out for each other on our day 2 as he was returning to the South Rim.

[07:45] We set out on the South Kaibab Trail while the sky was still tinted with the hues of sunrise. Clear skies and a dramatic landscape make South Kaibab a great choice for first time rim to rim hikers, but we realized afterwards that the steeper ascent made the trip down rougher on the knees and joints despite taking it slow and stopping frequently to take pictures. Our packs were still heavy (30-35 lbs) with our food rations for the week. We made our water weight decisions based on local knowledge of water sources. We knew water would be available at Phantom Ranch, Cottonwood, North Rim Backcountry Office (year-round), and Indian Garden but always asked rangers or fellow hikers and backpackers if they knew the water situation the next day.

At 10:45, we ate an early lunch (Subway sandwhiches we purchased the night before) a few hundred meters before Skeleton Point. In retrospect, I think the best place to have lunch on this descent is on one of the overlooks (pictured below) over the Colorado River about a half hour hike after The Tipoff. We had a noontime snack there while eyeing our destination below at the ranger station and Bright Angel Campground.

Finally, at 13:45, we arrived at the Kaibab Bridge and followed a short walk to Bright Angel Campground where we had our pick of campsites (except for the creek-side ones).
After making camp, we explored the Phantom Ranch area and the canteen, wondering how much this place might mean to us when we returned from the Yurt 3 days later. The temperature at the campground read 51, the high for that day. Not bad for a winter day! We had an early camp dinner and easily called it a night.




Day 2

[05:00] Rolling out of bed, we took a groggy 15 minute walk to Phantom Ranch for early breakfast. Hot meals are heavenly in the winter, which is why we decided to dine at Phantom Ranch that morning - and you really can't go wrong with eggs, bacon, pancakes, peaches, orange juice, and a good cup of joe or hot tea. Hikers and Phantom Ranch guests spoke with worry about the upcoming rain and snowstorms.


[08:30] After packing up camp, we visited the ranch one last time to fill up on water and set out for Cottonwood Campground. Along the way, we met a very nice team of NPS employees catching fish by Bright Angel Creek. Jen (sp?) happily filled us in on the 5-year natural resource restoration project they were working on: non-native bass were introduced into the creek for sport fishing several decades ago, interrupting the creek's natural ecosystem. Their goal is to reduce the population size of the non-native fish to help the native wildlife numbers increase. Among the wildlife they are hoping to bring back are the humpback chubs, which hadn't yet been seen by Jen. Along the way to Cottonwood, we also ran into our friend Justin, whom we had met on the bus, making good time on the way back. There would be about 3 ft of snow with the storm rolling in.


[12:45] After a few confusing signs to the Ribbon Falls bridge, we stopped just short of the actual falls to set our packs down and have lunch (Phantom Ranch sack lunch this time). If we had known better, we would have brought our lunch out to the falls so we could enjoy them while sitting behind the falls. Without much of an idea of what were looking at, the falls grew increasingly epic as we approached and explored. This is definitely a pit stop worth taking. Be sure to set your packs down early!

[15:00] The falls were just a short 1.4 mi from Cottonwood, so our early arrival allowed us to set up camp and cook dinner before nightfall. We were expecting rainfall that night due to the storm rumors and the 15 minutes of light snowflakes we experienced at Ribbon Falls. It was also relatively warm out thanks to the warm front from the storms. Colder than Phantom Ranch but definitely warmer than the South Rim, which we heard was sitting in the 30s.

According to Leo, the walk between Cottonwood and Bright Angel feels "very Middle Earth" and I must agree. With all the precipitation in the spring and winter, the area stays green and the
temperatures were cool and comfortable.


Day 3

[06:30] Snow showers began after we ate breakfast and we ended up with wet tents. Although we were stashing them on the campground before our ascent up the North Rim, we were sad that the water weight would weigh us down upon our return. I insisted that we store my sleeping bag because I believed the wood burning stove was warm and the yurt was insulated enough for my boyfriend and I to share one sleeping bag as a blanket.

[09:30] With a total of 10 lbs of camping gear unloaded between us three (hey, every pound counts!), we began our ascent in a serious snow drizzle. A pack of day hikers making camp at Cottonwood trailblazed the way ahead of us and we were thankful to them when we hit serious snow past the Supai Tunnel. The ascent was relatively easy up until the last 1.5 miles or so, which we anticipated. Ascending uses a different set of muscles and far less impact than descending. The weather at the Supai Tunnel around 1pm was in the 39-40 F -- not bad at all.

[14:45] From Supai Tunnel, it took me two hours to reach the North Kaibab Trailhead. The switchbacks in deep snow were difficult and seemingly endless. But oh so gorgeous. I can see why many call the North Kaibab Trail their favorite. The canyon views are vast and deep and varied.
We happened to meet two rangers on snowmobiles who had just restocked the Yurt with wood. The snow was pouring at that point and they noted that the snowstorm would continue for the next few days.

[15:00] We arrived at the Yurt and got the wood burning stove going. We didn't have trouble getting the fire started, but we got a lot of smoke backing up and filling the yurt. If anyone has any tips for that, please comment or let us know!

While I watched the stove, the boys set out to get water at the North Rim Backcountry Office, which was apparently difficult to identify with all the snow pouring in. We had no idea what the North Rim looked like in the on-season so finding the water source was a bit of a quest.

The Yurt was stocked with two yoga mats (possibly useful for sleeping mat replacement), some cookware, plates and bowls, a few board games, an ax, a small first aid kit, and more. If you're nice enough, bring something in advance to contribute (it could use a deck of cards as of 1/4/2016). There is also a Yurt Log (guest book) so think of something clever before you get there!

Unfortunately, we decided to skip out on Roaring Springs due to the snow so I can't say much about how much it was worth visiting in the winter. I did stop to appreciate how the springs provided water to the entire inner corridor up to Indian Garden, where water is pumped to the Grand Canyon Village in the South Rim.




Day 4

[07:50] A few minutes behind schedule, we had 14 miles of descent to cover before our late dinner at Phantom Ranch (6:30pm). With fresh snow, we didn't need our crampons and the views were once again gorgeous. On our way down, we ran into two other souls making a day hike up.

[13:00] We finally made it to our halfway point at Cottonwood to pick up our tents and my sleeping bag. After lunch, we set out with more weight and refilled water.

[16:30] At last, we reached Phantom Ranch and checked in. Phantom Ranch was nice enough to make extra veggie chili stew for Leo that night. We had a wonderful and much needed hot shower before dinner at 6:30pm. At this point, I was very happy that we all invested in trekking poles. They are an absolute must on long trips like this with heavy packs!

It was wonderful meeting the hikers at dinner:
- Sue on her yearly trek into the canyon, going farther each year. Her friend, a vegan, wasn't able to join us for dinner but we did meet her the next morning.
- Bob and Becky, a couple who met while floating on the Colorado River a couple of years ago. They go back every year. :)<3

By the end of dinner, we were too tired to hang out in the canteen so we decided to wash up and call it a night early. I feel tired just thinking about that day.






Day 5

[07:00] After a pleasant late breakfast at PR, we took our sweet time re-packing. At 8:30am, we hung out in the canteen for postcards and souvenirs and spent a moment to wish our fellow hikers happy trails. Many Grand Canyon and Arizona regulars noted that the last nights rainfall was the most they had seen in a long while (#ElNinoisreal?)... making us feel very lucky that we had a warm dorm bed, a hot shower, and warm meals at Phantom Ranch that night.

[08:45] We began a pleasant walk up Bright Angel Trail to Indian Garden Campground feeling refreshed. Despite muddy trails from the last night's rainfall, we got to appreciate how dramatic the Colorado River was. The rains also seemed to bring a lot of wildlife out: we spotted many flycatchers, a few bluebirds, and a Woodhouse Toad on the trail. In retrospect, perhaps starting at Bright Angel Trail would have been better and easier on the knees but S. Kaibab Trail offered more dramatic views and I think, at the cost of our mid-20s knees, we had done it the right way the first time around.

[14:00] After making camp, eating lunch, and relaxing at Indian Campground, we set out for a short 1.5 miles to Plateau Point where we took the time to take pictures, chat, and reflect on our journey. The views were sweeping even with more stormclouds rolling in. However, the storm gathered quickly by 5:00pm and we couldn't stay for sunset. We were delighted to cross paths with a family of mule deer on the plateau on our way back. At 6:00pm, we enjoyed dinner and called it a night before the rain started pouring.



Day 6


[09:00] Camping in the rain is really annoying... staying dry is a challenge and backpacking with wet tents added to the extra weight we lost from eating. Packing up camp took a while but it was a magical surprise hanging out with a family of mule deer wandering our campground. Glad for our character-building night before hiking out of the canyon, we set out for our endpoint: Bright Angel Trailhead. The trails were muddy up until the 3 mile rest house. Then, with the snow, we enjoyed the brisk walk up and reminisced on how much more beautiful the snow was at the North Rim.

[12:45] We got to the trailhead before 2pm, took our final "WE SURVIVED" pictures, and went straight to Bright Angel Lodge for check in. After five nights in the canyon, our completion of the journey was still surreal and we did not feel as dead or sore as we thought we would.

Mustering up our suprisingly generous store of energy, we dropped our stuff off, showered, and walked over to the Backcountry Office to find our little Hyundai Accent rental car buried in 2-3ft of snow. After digging out the car with shovels we borrowed from the Backcountry office, we visited Justin at the General Store, ate dinner at the Yavasupai tavern, and finally crashed back at our lodge room.



Cheers to a rim to rim to rim officially complete!

Check out our Facebook album here:


50 miles in 6d5n, snow, rain, landscapes of grandeur
Posted by Marvin Shu on Thursday, January 7, 2016


About the Hikers

All of us are recreational hikers who keep decently fit:
Andrea - bioengineer, project manager, runner, trip planner
Marvin - electrical engineer (hardware), climber, most experienced among the three of us
Leo - electrical engineer (networking), comic artist, runner, vegetarian

Monday, December 28, 2015

Growing up into Fate

Growing up.

I've been thinking that maybe "growing up" really just means working on and strengthening bits of our humanity. Growing up and staying grown up requires work. Week by week, I'm required to make little choices and perform small tasks in things such as emotional maturity, kindness, fiscal responsibility, and career progress.

I constantly make choices to sway me towards a certain direction. Whether it's accumulating experience, knowledge, or skills. I make a choice when I sit down and read a book or watch a youtube video. I make a choice when I go for a run or a bike ride.

I wish I had possessed an intuitive understanding of this in high school and college: how little things add up to larger things and how attention to the little things was your due diligence to a larger picture or goal.

But I'm glad I eventually came to this conclusion on my own and although I feel "behind" everyone else in success, I am content knowing I'm on the path to becoming my own person.

Fate. Destiny.

I actually believe that everything happens for a reason. I prefer beliefs in destiny, fate, and karma over chaos and randomness. Without such beliefs, it would be impossible for me to maintain a sense of sanity in this forever changing and dynamic world. The unexpected can always strike because it is impossible to see all of the seemingly infinite variables of life's equation. Making sense of the chaotic and seemingly random is why mathematicians work with summations and series and laplace transforms. In fact, laplace transforms are the reason I clutch onto fate and destiny.

If every action we take turns us into a certain person and leads us towards a certain path and towards certain places in life, spiting even the most difficult of circumstances, therein lies our fate/destiny. God plays a part but he gives us control and free will over what we do with our circumstances.

In many ways, I feel like I was destined to meet the people I have formed relationships with in my life. I ended up here in the Bay Area, despite my shortcomings as a young and naive soul with many imperfections. Looking back, I feel happy. But I continue to grow up and I strive to make my destiny even better.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

2016 New Years Themes

TLDR: My New Years "resolution" is to maintain a compassionate and conscientious identity while learning how to disconnect from the clutter, focus on what's important, and work towards personal wealth.


This year, my resolutions are centered around themes:

1. Disconnect

While I in school, I became reliant on social media. But during work life, social media is growing less appealing when it feels like I have to put more and more effort into image crafting and caring about what people think. The pervasiveness of social media has become a nuisance to me. Every time I check my phone with no notifications, I go straight to Facebook or Instagram, and it's usually of no productive value to me but it's an addiction! It's become so much of an addiction that I check my phone while driving impulsively. And that's really unsafe.

So one major theme of 2016, starting now, is "disconnect." I'm not sure how I will achieve this and how I will measure any success tangibly. I've heard of people swearing that smart watches change their life and during the brief week I had a Garmin Vivoactive, I can see why. A phone is something that is fully engaging while a smart watch limits your interactions and lets you stay on task. Because I had the smart watch to keep me inconspicuously connected, I was satisfied with my "connectedness" and rarely felt the urge to check my phone. It was great. Unfortunately, the Garmin Vivoactive did not live up to my aesthetic preferences and was too bulky for comfort on my wrist. I will keep an eye out for newer models of this watch.

One positive action that I'll take towards this is to hike and backpack more. I love the outdoors and I love taking in the scenery and, once I'm out there, I love the fact that I'm disconnected from society and work and all my human burdens. I love coming back and reconnecting, too, and I think that's part of what I'll enjoy from this theme. Honestly, I sometimes think the fundamental idea behind both the engagement with internet/social media and the search for great outdoors... is really that search for connectivity. They feel very different ... but isn't it true that we need people to feel connected to humanity and that we, conversely, need nature to feel connected to our personal humanity?

I feel like I'm halfway there. But I'll need to make an everyday, conscious effort to win this game.

2. Focus

This seems like a similar concept to the first, but my goals are different. I want to disconnect because I want to free myself from the clutter of "information overload" and from the need to "image craft" on social media. Once free, I want to fill it in with new, resonant, and/or productive things. But in order to do that, I must obtain a skill I has been underdeveloped for many years now: focus.

--the ability to set my mind on a task without getting distracted or being pulled in different directions. I've set many goals and resolutions in life only to be lost because I did not have focus. I've even started many unpublished blog posts that were unfinished because I did not have focus. It has to do with self-discipline against distractions, daily dedication, and determination even when failures occur. So instead of having goals or resolutions, I am going to work on my "focus" this year. That will be what is on my mind every time I tackle a new task.

To work on this, I will start with 15-20 mins of yoga stretch every day and 5 minutes of meditation every other day. Baby steps for now.

3. Wealth

For me, this is a weird theme. Money has always been a central theme in my life because it has always been a huge area of stress. My family has always been barely afloat on the financial front. I may have studied abroad on a tuition scholarship, but I struggled to make ends meet, feed myself, and pay for room and board. I used my free time in tutoring for money (and sometimes food) and had many stressful, sleepless nights. I had enough mindset to stay afloat because my mother was always very frugal and handled her credit well so our family never went completely broke.

However, in the game of wealth, I don't feel that I grew up with any role models. Wealth to a comfortable degree, where I could spend wisely but comfortably enough to buy nice, durable things, did not seem attainable to me while I was growing up. It was really just about survival...

I have to realize now that I am approaching a position where I can turn up. I've never felt interested in this whole grown up world of investments, mortgages, interest... Looking back, it was either because I never gave it much thought or I was scared of reaching very high (the less wealth you have, the less risks you can take).

In practice, tax season is coming up; time to really understand what I'm doing when I fill in those boxes! To start, I resolve to read more about how to manage my money, my wealth, and how to achieve enough to live comfortably and give back to my community. (Now taking book suggestions!)

P.S. Obviously this theme does not just apply to monetary wealth. :)


Thursday, December 10, 2015

What I Learned from Dogsitting


Thoughts on Responsible Dog Ownership and Pet Obsession

If you know me well, you know I will often joke about how small dogs are not "real" dogs. It's not that I really think that they are a separate species (I go so far as to to joke chihuahuas and pompoms are big rats). I despise the idea that they were bred to look like permanent puppies that irresponsible dog owners can baby. Because they are smaller and and so "cute" and easier to handle and dominate, they are often irresponsibly bred, which I believe is the reason for the "chihuahua mix epidemic" in adoption shelters and kennels. Small dogs and dogs bred just for cuteness reflect human pet obsession and babying.

Larger dogs tend to encourage a more rewarding companionship since they cannot be treated like babies all their life. There's the puppy phase and then it's over after a year or so. However, they are likely to become abandoned dogs if they are not socialized properly or not given the proper love. They end up misunderstood when they develop aggression or uncontrollable behaviors as adults. Because of this, I despise the notion that pets are just pets. Do NOT bring a "just a pet" mentality to large breed puppies. Why do you think there are so many German Shepherd mixes and Husky mixes in the shelters?! </endrant>

The first domesticated wolves were allies to humans. We made it each other better and helped each other survive. Since the first alliance, dogs have evolved together with us. But in a modern, pet-obsessed culture, it's so easy to forget that these souls can form real, meaningful bonds with us that are forged out of respect.

The Adorable Toasted Marshmallow (Dogsitting)

Last month, I had the opportunity to dogsit our new family pup, a 10-month-old Japanese Akita, for a short span of 10 days. The Akita breed is a large breed of dog and it is classified among the most dangerous dog breeds, next to the Husky and the German Shepherd. Knowing this, responsible dog ownership over Mashi was very important to me.

In sum total, she gave me something to live for--outside of my work, my boyfriend, and my friends and family. She gave me a glimpse of what it took to really, truly be responsible for another soul: self-awareness, dedication, and time.

You have to be self-aware in everything you do with and around a puppy. In developmental psychology, the brain is constantly making positive or negative associations with events so every little action can affect their development. Associative learning is at the crux of caring for a young life. For example, one day Mashi ran out of the house while my landlord had the garage open. In my many years of dog ownership, I'd learned that chasing after a dog will only make the dog run away. So I slowly approached her and to my pleasant surprise she did not run away as I took hold of her collar. This was a key breakthrough because I wanted her to learn that being offleash was okay as long as she let me approach her and take her collar. If I brought her inside the house at that moment, I would end up letting her associate "the collar grab" with "ruining the fun of being offleash." So instead, I put her training leash (15 ft) on and had Marvin take her for a walk in the park. In contrast, many dogs associate the collar grab with being dragged somewhere they don't want to go. I was always on thinking about my actions, even the tiniest of ones, and trying to remain self-aware.  Most importantly, my self-awareness helped me communicate with the dog because it made me aware of how I was communicating with her and how she might communicate back.

Self-awareness also helps a lot with dedication. In my last microblog, I brought out the quote "being awesome requires constant vigilance." Nothing is truer when you care for another being. Consistency is a key principle of associative learning but it takes a great deal of patience and discipline to do the right thing the large majority of the time. While laziness is the great bane of consistency, I found that when there was another life on the line, I was less likely to be lazy. I got out of the house to walk her in the cold mornings and evenings. I made sure she made positive social contact with dogs at the dog park. And I made sure she was fed and exercised. With dedication and self-awareness, I ended up exercising awareness over Mashi's needs. (It wasn't all perfect. One morning I failed to exercise her adequately because I had an early work meeting... and she ended up chewing up my roommate's slipper.) But even though it was a demanding "job" to care for her needs, I really think the love I developed for Mashi and time I invested in her over the short 10 days made me a better person. It put things in perspective and got me out of my own head and that is a huge thing for me.

Last but not least, the most difficult requirement of all when caring for another soul: time. My demographic profile (female, mid-twenties in the Bay Area) is not something to take lightly. It's an age when time is limited, careers are mobile, relationships volatile. In the fray of it all, taking care of a dog seems like something that could disrupt my current set of priorities (skill/knowledge acquisition, career, social life, relationships). Don't get me wrong--I know that in the future, the honor of forming a lasting bond with "man's best friend" will be high on my priority list. That bond in itself is a huge, irreplaceable reward--not to mention the endless warm and fuzzy instagram-worthy pictures, loving cuddles, crowd-pleasing adorableness, and cuteness overloads. However, unless I had adequate financial resources and could tag team with someone or have reliable dogsitters of my own, I would not risk adopting a puppy or a young adult dog.

What I learned from dogsitting is that I'm not ready to responsibly own a dog yet. It was a relief to bring Mashi back to my home in SoCal so I could "live my own life." But in the near future, who knows?

I still want to adopt a border collie and name him Spock.

But I want to earn that dream.