Respect the Distance

This Sunday, I'll be tackling my first sprint triathlon, taking me way outside of my comfort zone. I'm nervous. Understandably so. And I'm stressed. I have a million things running through my head:

• I'm an unbelievably slow swimmer. What if I can't complete the swim in time and DNF?
• What if I crash in the bike component and break my clavicle?
• Why do I have to run this without my training partner? :(
• What if my training was insufficient? What if I didn't swim enough or practice the brick enough?
• What if I can't find time to study for my physiology test that's next Wednesday?
• What if I have to call in sick for work one of these days?
• What if I trained to hard this week and don't feel fresh on race day?
• Why can't I just quit?

Is this what 'cold feet' feels like at a wedding?

Seriously though. I've loved every bit of cycling training and running -- but swimming? The trepidation is unmatched. That was the point of this endeavor, though - to take myself out of my comfort zone. To do something that requires time, resources, and a certain level of fitness that not many people are lucky enough to commit to. To learn how to swim. To conquer fears. To manage my time and body well.

Can I say I feel trained enough to do this well? No. I honestly have never been able to say that before race day and there are many disappointing aspects to this training cycle as well. But I know I often surprise myself on race day and this time will be no different.

There's another thing too.

I signed up for a full marathon. On impulse (as usual).

On my 26th birthday, inspired by a friend, I decided I should complete the 26.2 at 26 and signed up for the lottery draw for the Big Sur International Marathon. Of course, fate would have me in the lucky draw and I bit the bullet. I am registered for a marathon with about seven months of training to go.

Source: ESPN

I never thought I could run a marathon. I've never exceeded 30 miles per week in training and not gotten a repetitive stress injury. I've had two knee surgeries and I'm probably on track for arthritis because of that.

But to be fair... there was a point in my life where I thought I could never run more than 5K without feeling discomfort in my knees. Then my cross country coach in college surreptitiously signed me up for a 10K in 2012. Then I started running more 10Ks and doing more crazy things like adventure races. Then I did Bay to Breakers in 2014. Then I signed up for a half freaking marathon in 2016 and finished that in a very respectable time with inconsistent training. Maybe I didn't get the times I wanted but I still finished close to them. I'm not in the pro leagues but I've still posted some respectable times.

So (please please please excuse the language; I can't think of a stronger expression) fuck self doubt. Fuck limitations.

2016, you've proved that I could do the things I didn't think possible. Somehow, despite the doubts, I still challenged myself to push my "limits", So why waste time with self-doubt? Why don't I start living by my own advice? The whole reason I want to do physical therapy is because I "want to help people exceed their perceived and self-imposed limits."

I can't fathom how hard this will be because I've never trained for a marathon before. Again, it's outside of my comfort zone -- I've read just about a million articles and blogs on how to train for a marathon, race recaps, and what it takes to get a certain goal time. If there's a common theme, it's that the marathon is a distance all it's own and it needs to be respected. The last 10K of a marathon is a special place to arrive to and train for. I'll get there. And then I'll get to the finish line. There's no doubt.

Maybe I had reason for self-doubt in the past -- I feared and therefore respected the distances I had to run. 

Well. Respectfully, self-doubt is not a productive form of respect.

I respect the distance. And I react with determination and courage.

I will not be afraid to state my goals because even if I don't reach them, I will have tried my best to get there, given the circumstances, and anything I will accomplish will also be respectable (e.g. I know I can finish and I know it will be under 4 hours).

Check out this elevation profile...

Source: marathonguide.com

BSIM Goal time: 3:35

Oct-Nov focus: running form and base building, injury risk reduction (strength and weight loss)

October Goals:

• Weekly mileage: 18-20
• Long run: 9-10 miles
• Weight: 120 lb

November Goals:

• Weekly mileage: 21-23
• Long run: 13-15 miles
• Weight: 118 lb
• Berkeley Half: 1:46

December Goals:

• Weekly mileage: 23-31
• Weight: 116 lb
• Long run: 16-18 miles